Dark Ride Page #4

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back to the chef

so he can cook it up

just right for you?

- What's the matter?

- Yeah.

This is a bust.

You're wasting a perfectly

good piece of meat.

(growls)

What was that?

Well, maybe the poor baby's

got a cold.

He could be allergic.

Let's get out of here.

You're not allergic,

are you? Eat.

Eat it!

Essen!

This is choice stuff.

- Put some hair on your...

- (shackles clanking)

(growling)

Just...

(screams)

(whimpering)

(screaming)

Hey, have any of you guys actually

ever been to one of these places?

Steve:
I went to something like this

when I was a kid down in Orlando.

It scared the crap out

of me.

I had nightmares

for two years after that.

- You always have nightmares.

- Only when I think about your face.

You guys are not gonna

have that problem on this trip.

We pass by the joint

three days before it opens.

Hey, did someone

just say "joint"?

That's too bad.

Sounds like it could have been fun.

Oh, bullshit, Liz. A beggar says "boo,"

and you get scared straight.

You never would have gone in the place.

You're only all tough about it now

'cause the option's

off the table.

It's kiddie sh*t.

Of course I would have gone.

I bet cash money you would never even

set foot in the place.

You're such a f***ing cheating a**hole,

Steve. I'll take that bet.

You gotta be the toughest,

coolest, bravest person

in the f***ing room,

in every room.

- Guys, come on, chill out.

- There is one way to settle this.

How's that?

Anybody feel like saving

a little money on a room tonight?

No way!

Why not way?

Come on, let's do it.

I mean, we can do

whatever we want.

Yeah. Yeah,

it could be cool.

All I ever read about is

how doomed our generation is, okay,

how we do nothing,

and we have it so easy?

So let's do something.

I'm in.

- Try to keep me away.

- Cathy:
You're all nuts.

F*** the motel, guys.

This sounds really f***ing cool.

This is something we're gonna be

talking about for a long time.

Bill:
I think we should

check it out, okay?

If it's cool, we'll go in.

If not, we'll leave.

Steve:

Okay, sounds like a plan.

Bill:
Look, guys, if we stay

in the Dark Ride tonight,

we increase our funding

supplies for spring break,

if you catch my drift.

Good God.

- Holy sh*t.

- Steve:
What?

(yawning)

Bill, how much longer?

- That would depend.

- On what?

On whether Jim

picks up this hitchhiker.

- Do not stop this van.

- Steve:
Hey, that was my fantasy.

This is almost as good as the old man

at the gas station.

I'll bet she's either

a psycho or a nympho.

Well, what is she doing

out here all by herself?

She's a homeless,

psychotic nymphomaniac.

Where's she gonna be,

Park Avenue?

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