Dark Ride Page #3

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- No, I didn't, a**hole.

- Cathy:
What happened?

You should have seen

the guy in there, man.

He was talking to us about coupons,

about gas in this town.

Steve:

We got a coupon for a restaurant.

- Liz, where's Bill?

- I don't know.

- I thought he was with you.

- Right here, right here.

Look at this.

Look at what I found in the bathroom.

Liz:

What, another STD?

- (Cathy laughs) Another STD?

- Another?

"Bleedings from Asbury Park,

the Jersey shore's infamous

historic attraction.

for your horrific pleasure,

the Dark Ride celebrates

its grand reopening

April 17. "

Let me see that, dude.

I know about this thing.

- I heard about it.

- Really?

- And that makes you cool how?

- Blow me.

Very lame.

There's things like this

at every amusement park.

Yeah, and Ferris wheels.

Big scary Ferris wheels.

(both yell)

Okay, wait.

What is a dark ride?

It's the horror attraction

at amusement parks or boardwalks.

Yeah, it's like that

"Little Rascals" episode

from the '20s

on Coney Island.

Didn't catch it.

It's basically carts on tracks,

slamming through doors.

I love those things.

They're so scary.

No, I read

about this place.

Something happened in there.

This is the real thing.

The place had been shut down

for 20 years.

It's gotta be the first time

it's opened since.

Well, it must have been

quite a something

to shut the whole place down

for that long.

(lock buzzes)

(chain clinking)

(knocking)

Yoo-hoo!

Anybody home?

(door creaking)

Strictly vegetarian,

my ass.

Why is this freak always

on the floor?

I know your face is

all f***ed up,

but you don't

gotta hide from us.

We're your friends,

buddy.

What's the matter?

You don't fancy

the accommodations, sir?

Your mattress too soft?

No chocolate

on the pillows?

They've been keeping you

on carrots and codeine

for a long time now.

I know you don't think

you're special.

Seems to me it's

about time for a change.

You hear me, freak?

I think some good old

USDA prime beef

might be just

what the doctor ordered.

A little bit of iron

oughta toughen you right up.

Let's get out of here.

This is a stupid idea.

Look at his ears.

I think he's deaf.

He don't give a sh*t

what you feed him.

What? I hear vegetarians

get sick if they eat meat.

I just wanna see

if that's true, is all.

I mean,

this is a hospital.

There's nothing wrong with

a little bit of a scientific experiment.

He's a zombie.

Let's go and mess with the girls.

That's more fun.

What, you're in a rush now?

We got all night.

Give me that meat.

Oh, yeah.

Dinnertime, d*ckhead.

What's the matter?

Is it too bloody for you?

A little bit too rare?

You want me to send it

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