Dangerous When Wet Page #5

I'm coming, I'm coming.

You gotta give back

the money on that girdle endorsement.

I can't wear it. I'm sorry.

Fine thing I get to endorse seasick pills.

I like them.

Listen, you can hear the band now.

I pay good dollars

for the best band in Southampton...

...you can't see them.

- Let's get closer.

I know they're there. I can hear them.

Grab my hand, I'll blaze a trail.

Take it easy, now.

- We're here.

- All together. Don't get lost. Come on.

Hold hands, now,

we're in a strange country.

Now, listen, listen, all of you.

Remember, you're homespun, wholesome,

and you love Liquapep. Remember that.

Now, will the band

kindly stop playing, please?

Will the band kindly stop playing, please?

Quiet!

Thank you.

Mayor Fitzwilliams-Peckham...

...it gives me great pleasure

to introduce the Higgins family.

How do you do?

It gives me great pleasure to welcome you

to England.

Thank you.

Thank you. And now, America's own...

...Miss Kathryn Higgins has a few

words to say.

- A few words? I don't know have anything...

- I wrote a speech for you.

- Why didn't you tell me?

- You can read it. There it is.

"Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen..."

I can't read it.

Here, here. There.

"It is indeed a privilege

to stand here before you...

...and see your smiling faces.

You have no idea...

...how thrilled we were at our first glimpse

of your sparkling shores..."

Folks, wherever you are,

we're very happy to be here...

...and we'll do our best

to swim your channel. Thank you.

After all, it's only water.

That's pretty funny.

Well, like I said, it's only water.

But there's so much of it.

Oh, dig those crazy waves.

Hey, look, Ma.

Which one of you is gonna

make the attempt?

The whole family, Mac.

The Liquapep family.

I wish you good luck.

Thirty miles, a fine swim for anyone.

Thirty miles?

Thirty?

You said it was only 20 miles.

Well, it is only 20. I read it.

I can prove it to you on a map.

That's as the sea gull flies.

The average swim is 30.

Sometimes a wee bit more.

You cannot swim in a straight line.

You have to zigzag with the currents.

I've seen them come and I've seen them go

and there's many I've helped drag out...

...more dead than alive.

But, as I say, good luck to you.

Morning.

The Egyptian entrant.

German.

Danish...

...Canadian, Argentinean, Brazilian.

English, Norwegian, Finnish, French.

Hey, bonjour, kid.

"Belle Blanche."

One, two, three, four, five.

Hey, four more letters than Liquapep.

Excuse me, sir.

Just one more question, please.

What is the longest channel swim

on record?

42 miles.

You mean I have to row 42 miles?

Well, we conquered the Winapoochet.

We'll conquer the channel.

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