Convict 99 Page #3

- There's a medical note.

- Oh, yes.

"Suspected of being mentally

unbalanced. Keep under observation."

Oh, I see. All right, take him away.

Come on, Slessor, wake up.

Time for bed.

What? What? Bed?

Oh, bed? Oh, bed, bed.

'Ere, is my bedroom near my study?

Your bedroom's in your study.

Ooh, good. Combined room, eh?

(Man) Hey, wake up! What's the idea?

Who's in charge of this corridor?

- I am, sir.

- Get your men up!

- Yes!

- It's two minutes past six!

Come on, wake up!

- All of you!

- (Men groaning)

Hup! Hey, where do you think

you are, the Ritz?

Come on, show a leg.

(Truncheon rattles)

(Men groaning and yawning)

Hey, copper, come here!

- Come on, come on.

- What's the matter with you?

No impertinence, I know the law. I've

been in better police stations than this.

- Who's responsible for me being here?

- You are!

- You've been a very naughty boy.

- Oh dear. Oh, have I?

- Who's on the bench this morning?

- Oh, shut up!

Hey, hey, come here. Was I very bad?

Bad? It took five of us to bath you!

I haven't been bathed since I was a kid!

- No? That's what we thought.

- I don't want any impudence!

Call my brother-in-law, Alfred Bates,

he'll bail me out.

Shut up or I'll get the head screw on you.

Hey, come here!

You say you won't do it?

I demand a proper drunkenness test.

I'll show you I'm sober.

You get the doctor immediately.

Go on, go and get him! Go on!

Go on! And send over

some eggs and bacon.

- Hey, anything wrong?

- 99's acting queer.

- Says he wants a doctor.

- 99?

That's Max Slessor, fella who made

all that trouble at Parkhurst.

Crazy as a coot.

I'll send the doctor along.

Good morning, Doctor.

Truly rural, truly constitutional.

Around the rogged ricks... The rigged...

Around the rigged racks...

Around the racks...

Around the rogged...

It's on the tip of me tongue. Around

the rigged rocks, the ragged rascal...

- Anyway, I'm as sober as a judge.

- Of course you are. Let's take it quietly.

Say this after me - I serenely submit

to the seven-year servitude

that I stand sentenced to by the state.

Blimey, it's a bit ess-y. Well, I'll have

a trot at it. Wish I had me other teeth.

I serenely submit

to the seven-year servitude

I stand se... I can't say that!

They'll think I am doing seven years.

Quite right. Keep that thought

in the back of your mind.

Hey, you can't leave me here like this!

I know a fella that knows an MP.

I'll have a question asked in the House.

Yes. Hey, what am I gonna do?

You finish marking out the floor and

I'll come back for a game of hopscotch.

Hey, come here!

You can't treat me like this! I'll write to

the Home Secretary! Bring me a stamp!

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