Convict 99

Synopsis: A disgraced school master, Benjamin Twist, is mistaken for a tough prison governor and assigned the charge of a prison for particularly hardened criminals. Believing he is being sent to a school rather than a prison, he celebrates accordingly only to find that his drunkenness accidently lands him on the wrong side of the prison bars. The Governorship is eventually restored to him, and he sets about popularising himself amongst the convicts by turning a blind eye to their shady dealings.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Marcel Varnel
Production: Gainsborough Productions
91 min

And don't you show your face

in St Michael's again!

And if your brother Benjamin

thinks he can live here

while he's out of work, he's mistaken.

Mummy, is Uncle Ben going to get it

in the neck again?

Shut up! Go and do your homework.

Alfie, put your slippers on.

If you've got an idea you're going

on a pub crawl tonight you're wrong.

Hello, Mabel. Hello, Alfred.

- Hello, Ben.

- Hello, kids, guess what I've got.

- The sack!

- Er... Oh.

No, I've brought you some sweets.

How long are you going to live on us

this time? Our lease runs out in 1945.

Oh, I shan't be here long, I'm in the

running for one or two appointments.

You'd better try and catch one,

or out you go.

We can't turn him out.

Yes, we can, then Freddie and me can

have the bed to ourselves.

Quiet, Jimmy.

- Read that.

- Oh, for me?

Found me already?

"In reply to your application"?

I didn't apply for this.

Some nosy parker been interfering?

- I applied for it.

- Oh, you did?

Oh. Oh, thank you very much, Mabel.

Well, 75 a year?

Do they know who they're writing to?

They can't do,

or they wouldn't have offered so much.

Well, at St Michael's I got 80 a year

and they threw my laundry in.

Benjamin Twist, either you apply for that

job or you don't sleep here tonight.

Oh. Oh, very well.

In that case, I'd better be going.

- Going? Where to?

- To bed.

That means our bed!

Mabel, if I didn't know you better...

Go away! ..I should be inclined to form

the opinion that I wasn't welcome here!

Wait, boys, it's my turn for the middle!

I had the broken spring last night. Hey!

- Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- Sorry you ought to be.

Are you an applicant

for this backward boys' school?

Do I look sap enough

to be a schoolmaster?

Oh, no.

You haven't seen

the prisons commission?

No, I've been fortunate.

Oh, on the board? No, I haven't.

You look down that side for mine

and I'll look here for yours.

Two eyes are better than one.

- Sorry, guvnor.

- Just a minute, just a minute.

Here, you can't take property like that!

- Recognise it?

- Yeah, it's like mine.

It is mine! What are you doing with it?

- He just picked your pocket!

- Oh, did he?

No, I found it, I was taking it

to the police.

Ah, I knew he had an honest face.

I've seen honest faces like that

in Australian prisons for 17 years.

- My, what a long sentence.

- Sentence? I was prison governor.

- Watch him while I fetch a policeman.

- Yes.

I say, don't be long!

Good day, gentlemen, good day.

Good day.

It's a waste of time seeing all these

people. Benjamin's the one we want.

That last applicant seemed charming.

We don't want charm in prison,

we want discipline.

We're getting low on the list.

I want to see Benjamin. He's done

wonderful work in Australian prisons.


I say, this is rather embarrassing.

Would you mind pretending

we know each other? I'm Twist.

- Twister!

- Eh?

I didn't know you

without your mortar board.

Remember me?

I'm Bates, Bates minor, of St Michael's.

Bates! Of course it is!

- Glad to see you!

- Haven't seen you for ages.

- How are you?

- Very well.

How's your father?

Eight o'clock, last Tuesday morning.

Tuesday? Well, he had a nice day for it.

Mr Benjamin? Mr Benjamin?

- Mr Benjamin?

- Did you say Benjamin?

- Are you Benjamin?

- Yes, Dr Benjamin T...

Could you step this way?

The board are waiting.

Well, Twister, I won't keep you.

I gotta go too.

- Ta-ta.

- So long.

- I say, Bates!

- Please, Mr Benjamin, you're late.

- He's got my...

- Mr Benjamin, they're waiting.

- I'm told he's rather harsh.

- That's what we want.

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Cyril Campion

Cyril Theron Campion (1894–1961) was an English playwright and screenwriter. He was the father of the actor Gerald Campion. more…

All Cyril Campion scripts | Cyril Campion Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Convict 99" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 4 Dec. 2021. <>.

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