Conversations with My Gardener Page #5

Railwaymers perks:

Free trips and full dental care.

Talking of which,

you're keeping me chatting...

and the boss won't like it

if the work isn't done.

- What are you eating?

- A kipper.

At this time?

Every day at this time

I eat a kipper.

As much protein as steak

and it's good for your arteries.

The Japanese eat fish,

they have fewer heart problems.

- You're a wee bit Japanese.

- Don't make fun.

I'm not, but look.

You drink tea; take your shoes

off outside and eat herring.

It peps me up, anyway.

Want a taste.

No, thank you.

I pulled out the rose bushes.

They'd had it.

They were old.

Mother pampered them.

Gorgeous colours and perfumes,

old fashioned roses.

There was still a label on the stake.

The roots had become tinder.

A devil to pull out.

Ask your dentist.

By the way...

I wrote down the dentist's name.

You never know.

How is it pronounced?

B... B...

- Bzysiski?

- He's a pole.

Keep it. Just reading his name

gives me a toothache.

We should choose our names.

Oh? And what would you

call yourself?

- Gardener.

- Good call.

- And me?

- Dauber.

I'm sure you call me Dauber

to your family.

No, not a bit.

You must mention me.

- Sometimes.

- And what do you call me?

No offence?

Tell me anyway.

The boss.

That's ridiculous.

Yes... it's my son-in-law.

Not the garage one,

the supermarket guard.

He put the word in my mind.

"The boss" this, "The Boss" that.

Reckons it's modern American.

A bit stupid, is he?

- Notjust a bit.

- Right.

That's a good looking knife.

Yes. Good looking and good.

It'd cut sliced bread.

A word of advice, if I may.

Always carry a knife.

And also...

a piece of string.

It can be a lifesaver.

Remember that.

I will.

There.

There's elephants' graveyards

that's a kippers' graveyard.

Mr Gardener's Kipper Graveyard.

Like an Erik Satie title.

He's a musician.

Right. I'll leave the keys

on the kitchen windowsill.

Will you lock up?

- If you come tomorrow.

- I will.

See the plumber,

and tell him about your garden tap,

where, how tall, etc.

I understand.

You'll see the electrician.

Not Deruzeau.

- Don't worry, I changed.

- You pay, you choose.

Will you see the painter for the key?

- When are you back?

- As soon as possible.

Don't worry, I won't stay

a day over three weeks.

Bye, Gardener.

Bye, Dauber.

Go easy, there's rain coming.

Really... You think so.

I don't think. I know.

Yes!

Hello. Yes, it's me. I've just arrived.

It rained all the way up.

Still on for lunch?

The Chinese.

You're sure.

Right. See you tomorrow.

Yes. Take care.

Not eating.

Neither are you.

I'm not that keen on exotic food.

I'm only here to please you.

Some wine?

Seen Maitre Coiffard?

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