Conversations with My Gardener

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY GARDENER

Hello.

Anyone Home?

Anyone Home?

Coming!

I did say I didn't have a ladder.

You'd best get one for the roof.

- Didrt the lady tell you?

- What lady?

- The one I called.

- I don't know any lady.

I don't need a ladder.

Hello, by the way.

Sorry, hello.

You're here for the aerial?

Not a bit. I'm here about the ad

in Henri's caf

for the gardener's job.

- Sorry I thought...

I am looking for someone.

I want to revive the kitchen garden.

Don't I know you.

Could be.

Long ago?

Hang on it'll come to me.

In the army?

Before?

Before the army?

- F***!

The Cake,

The head's birthday.

Father what was it?

Father Colin.

Too kind, children!

Light the candles, Charles.

Same every year.

With one candle to hide his age.

That crow banger I nicked...

was the candle.

What a fuss it made!

I'll say! The old man

took his belt to me.

My mother was shouting

"Don't kill him"!"

How were we found out?

It was the P.E. Teacher.

We called him Kodak. He'd snap away

at fetes and prize-givings.

And?

On the snap before the explosion

we had our ears covered!

It was as plain as the nose

on your face we'd done it.

- Right.

- No, not wine.

You can't vex me

by refusing a little Chirouble.

A tiny drop, then.

Just to be polite.

I'm through with wine.

I drank too much of it for years.

One day my wife said,

"Stop or I'll leave you."

I listened and stopped

there and then.

Wise decision.

To memories.

What was our name?

Oh yes! The Daredevils!

That's right.

Here's my ladder.

You hired Deruzeau?

First name in the yellow pages.

You've money to spare!

I'd best be going.

Wait.

We haven't fixed the days.

I'll call in tomorrow.

I'm no friend of Deruzeau.

- See you then.

- See you then.

You've more land than I thought.

Been here long?

Yes, you were still asleep.

The whole lot as a vegetable patch

seems a bit much.

No, just a country priest's garden...

...like my mother's down there.

Yes.

That I can do.

It's there.

Lettuce, radishes,

carrots, spuds...

the same as her.

A little kitchen garden.

And the rest tidy.

That'd be good.

Veg for you and your lady

and sundry guests...

a few tomatoes,

your herbs, green beans,

broad beans... the basics.

Yes, yes.

I'll see your lady for the lettuce,

she might have favourites.

She won't be coming until it's sorted.

No rush.

I can come three times a week.

I've time now I'm retired.

- Already?

- The railway!

We fought for social issues.

I wasrt a leading light.

I made up the numbers.

The wife wouldn't have liked

me demonstrating.

Oh, I had a rummage

in the shed for tools.

Not a won'thwhile one to be seen.

Except the sickle.

It's temperamental, but it works.

I cleared a corner.

But we need a scythe.

We'll buy it together.

It's just a scythe.

Scythe for grass

or scythe for undergrowth?

Wood handle or metal handle?

Prices vary massively.

We'll go together.

- Fancy a coffee?

- No, a tea.

Tea? I haven't got any.

Coffee, then.

Right.

But I won't digest it.

What are all these pictures?

Some have nothing on.

Those are waiting.

Waiting?

I'm a painter.

Oh?

Oh?

You mean... an artist?

Yes, that's my job.

Sit down.

Excuse me.

Well, well.

It's quite a job, though.

I wouldn't have the patience.

It's not a matter of patience...

...more being willing

to take one's time...

...to look around carefully.

When I'm working

I've no time for looking.

You never watch the sun set?

The stars, the mist...

The mist?

You can't see much when it's misty.

Winter snows, a womars skin...

A womars skin?

That's not the same.

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