Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk Page #2
- Year:
- 2017
- 95 min
- 61 Views
But after Armageddon, a Jehovah's Witness
can move right in there.
Can even be your family.
God bless the Lord
Bless the name of the Lord
Did you know that the Bible actually
mentions the sport of tennis?
Moses served in the court of Pharaoh.
You get it.
Right in the court of Pharaoh,
Let's go over last week's study.
What is the world?
[Bill] The world is the people that
are not Jehovah's Witnesses.
[Elder] Very good, and
who's the ruler of the world?
[Bill] Satan.
[Elder] Can you give me a
scripture to back that up.
[Bill] 1 John 5:
19.That's excellent.
You're on your way to
becoming a Jehovah's Witness.
Now if we aren't for God, who are we for?
We're for Satan, and against God.
That's very good Bill, that's very good.
Now are you for God or are you for Satan?
Bill, are you for God or are you for Satan?
I hate Satan,
but I'm for Satan.
What are you talking about?
I mean I might be for God
now, it's been four days.
Four days since what?
I got drunk.
(heavy sighing)
And have you been praying to Jehovah
to help you quit that dirty habit?
I have been praying but on Tuesday I sinned
Satan I should do Satan things.
But you asked for Jehovah's
forgiveness in prayer, right?
So you're doing the right thing Bill.
What is it.
- (Bill sobbing)
- I'm for God.
I'm for God, I'm for God! (sobbing loudly)
I'm for God, I'm for God, I
try, I try. (sobbing loudly)
Bill, is there something
more you want to tell us?
It's okay Bill, you can tell us,
you can confess to us right here.
We're all brothers here you can talk to us.
Masturbation.
I masturbated.
(jazz music)
Gabe, Gabe, how do you deal
with your sexual desire?
I pray to Jehovah.
[Brother Miller] And
Yes, trust in Jehovah.
Have trust in Jehovah.
(soft music)
[Gabe Voiceover] Uncle
Jeff told dad he wanted
to come back to the Kingdom Hall.
He's a musician so he tours a lot.
He also smokes a lot and drinks a lot.
And does a lot of other things.
And if he keeps having sex with girls,
he's gonna die at Armageddon.
(guitar music)
[Gabe] Can I take a sip?
[Uncle Jeff] Help yourself.
[Gabe] Thanks.
[Uncle Jeff] Warms you up huh?
[Gabe] Yeah.
(guitar music)
[Uncle Jeff] Puts hair on your chest.
Oh sh*t man sorry.
It's okay.
It's easier to quit
women than it is smoking.
Yeah I have girl problems too.
Tell me 'bout it kiddo.
Well her name's Jasmine.
She doesn't like me but, her sister does.
Peter says I should go with Camille
because she might kiss me, but
Would she get mad if I kiss Camille?
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/confessions_of_a_teenage_jesus_jerk_5866>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In