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I need to watch this documentary

on Asian architecture.

Well, you gotta get some rest

sometime, sweetheart.

Besides, the woodland creatures

will laugh at you...

...if you collapse trying

to put up the tent this weekend.

Yeah. I forgot to tell you.

We gotta postpone

the camping trip.

Ammer put me on a project.

It's due Tuesday. If I don't finish,

I'm off it, so...

The kids have been talking

about camping all year.

Think I don't know that?

It's just every choice I make,

everything I do...

...I disappoint somebody.

Make sure you don't keep

disappointing the wrong people.

I'm not out drinking or gambling

or hitting on chicks.

I'm working my ass off

so my family can have a better life...

...than I dreamed of

when I was a kid.

The only way for that to happen

is for me to watch this stinking show!

So relax, hon.

Are you kidding me?

Will you give me a break one time?

Damn it! The O'Doyles got

a stinking universal remote control.

We're gonna have one too.

I'm sick of this.

You want me to open

the garage for you?

Closed.

Closed.

Open.

Bed Bath & Beyond it is.

Hey, man?

You guys got any universal

remote controls in there?

- For a shower curtain or a bathmat?

- For a television.

I don't think so.

Maybe for a blanket?

You got a remote for a blanket?

Sorry, I don't work here.

I'm waiting for my friends.

You're kidding me.

Actually, yes. I don't have any friends.

Will you be my friend?

Wow, man.

Bed. Bed.

Bath. Bath.

Bed.

So tired of my life.

Beyond?

Sorry to sneak up on you. I just...

You guys got a universal

remote control back here?

Something stinks

like stale french fries.

All right, that's probably me.

You know, fast food

shortens your life.

Yeah, that's what I heard.

But the way my life's been going

lately, that ain't such a bad thing.

You're looking

for a universal remote control?

Yeah. Just one device

to do it all for me...

...make my life a little easier,

quicker, not so damn complicated.

I'm not supposed to do this,

but you seem like a good guy.

Hey. Somebody noticed. Thank you.

I'm gonna show you a remote

we just got in...

...that's probably the most advanced

piece of technology...

...we have in this place.

- Sounds sweet.

- It is sweet.

The latest, greatest universal remote

not even on the market yet.

I guess the O'Doyles' remote can bite

my advanced-technological ass then.

I don't know the O'Doyles...

...but they can bite it hard.

Yeah.

Come in the back with me.

Okay.

This is... This is very nice of you.

- What's your name, anyways?

- Call me Morty.

Morty, I'm Michael Newman.

Michael Newman.

I'm about to rock your world.

Okay.

I gotta be honest with you. This place

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