Cigarette Soup Page #4

let's check around,

see if there's anything

we can use

in this motherf***er.

Ain't got sh*t in here.

Bullshit I.E.D.'S,

we're f***ing right in here.

-Geraldo?

-Yeah?

This is where you

keep your sh*t.

Make it cozy.

We could be here a while.

Oh, god.

So here we are somewhere.

Now I know it doesn't

say much,

but honestly,

i have no idea where

the f*** we are.

The last thing I recorded

was us making a run for it

in the desert,

and then me just

face planting in the sand.

Sh*t.

After my camera shut off,

we ran for about 20 minutes,

give or take,

until Nelson and I stumbled

upon this bunker.

It's clearly an enemy bunker,

which makes me wonder

why we're staying here.

I just have to hope

that the Taliban decides

not to return home.

Sh*t.

I'll report back later.

Over and out.

We made it through

our first official hour.

I did what I could

to make my new area

as homey as possible.

Moved my backpack

around a little bit,

put it in a few

different spots.

I think it looks pretty good

where it is now.

I hope butch approves.

-Can I interview you?

-Now is not a good time.

What else are we

gonna do down here?

All right.

Okay, start

by stating your name

and where you're from.

You know my name

and where I'm from.

My name is Luis Perez

and I'm from upstate New York.

My boys call me crook.

Why did you join the army?

Uh, good question.

Not just a good one,

such a unique one,

such an interesting angle.

Definitely never one

I've been asked before.

Come back when you have

something worth talking about.

Okay.

Why don't you tell me

why sergeant Nelson

shot you down like that?

I mean, you brought up

a good point.

Maybe we should

have all gone with him.

Good point on that.

-I spoke out of turn.

-You can't be serious.

Come on, Geraldo.

A non-ray like me

talking back to a sergeant?

-You know what

a non-ray is, don't you?

-I can kind of guess.

It's a rank so low

we're not even

considered human.

So low we're not even

worthy of a rank.

Christ man, I'm lucky

he didn't sh*t on me

right then and there.

You mean killing you?

No, I mean sh*t on me.

At least killing me would have

been respectable.

So you can't speak

your mind freely.

Oh, no, we can,

just not to authority.

It's as if we don't count,

we have no business

speaking our minds.

It's just how it is.

When I first got here...

One of my sergeants,

we'll call him captain dipshit,

was telling a joke

to a bunch of other

captain dipshits.

I thought the joke was funny,

so I laughed.

I soon found out

that if captain dipshit

tells a joke to a bunch

of other captain dipshits,

better not f***ing laugh.

At least he better not

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