Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger - London, New York, Johannesburg Page #3

That's right. It's gonna be hard

for Barack Obama to be president

because Barack Obama

has a black wife.

And I don't think a black woman

can be first lady of the United States.

Yeah, I said it.

I said it in Johannesburg,

I said it.

I said it in London, England,

I said that sh*t.

I said it at the Apollo Theater,

I said that sh*t.

I don't believe a black woman

can be first lady.

You know why? Cos a black woman cannot

play the background of a relationship.

Don't get me wrong - a black woman

could be president with no problem.

First lady? Too much shutting up in that job.

Can you imagine telling your black wife

that you president?

"Honey, I won. I'm president."

"No! We president.

"And I want my girlfriends in the cabinet.

"I want Kiki to be Secretary of Defense.

"She can fight. She can fight."

No, no, you can't have

no black first lady.

That's too much work

for the secret service.

"We can't let her through, sir.

We can't let her through."

"It's my f***ing wife, man.

She's gonna kill you!"

No, no, no.

That's right. Barack Obama

really want to be the president,

he got to get him a white girl.

Yeah, I said it.

Why? Cos a white girl

will play her position.

The black girl wanna play your position.

You under the quarterback going, "Hike, hike!"

She right next to you,

"Hike, hike!"

"We can't both hike."

"I don't give a f***."

That's right. You get you a white girl,

she do exactly what you need her to do.

"I need you to run left, slant right."

"OK, Daddy, I got ya."

And you win.

Whoo, black women get mad

when I say that sh*t, boy.

"Oh, you need a white girl?

You think you need a white girl?

"F*** you, motherf***er.

"You think you need a white girl?

"As soon as you all get a little money,

you want a white girl.

"Soon as you get a little money,

you want a white girl."

"Actually, before we get money."

Oh!

Oh, don't worry. I'm a bring it back.

Black women get pissed off

at some interracial dating, boy.

Black women get mad as a motherf***er.

Black women get angrier

than southern white men.

They get pissed the f*** off.

Especially if they see, like,

a white girl with a famous black man.

Ooh! They get f***in' mad.

They see, like, a white girl with Denzel

Washington, they f***ing start shaking.

They ready to punch

that white girl in the face.

"What the f*** you doing with Denzel?

"Trying to take our good black men.

"We only got eight."

That's right.

Black women get mad.

They get mad at us,

the black man. They get mad!

They get mad at us

cos we like to exercise our variety.

That's right, that's right.

Black men like to exercise their variety.

When the black man

is looking for a mate,

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