Cheaper by the Dozen Page #6

It's time for your chess lesson.

I don't have

a chess lesson, Mom.

Well, then, you need to practice

for your chess lesson.

Come over anytime, dude.

Uh, we'll, uh, we'll call,

schedule a play date.

No need.

Just come by anytime.

Oh, no, we'll call.

- You're all invited to my birthday.

- Oh-ho. That'll be fun.

Hey, Charlie, come on down

and help me with this, okay?

Careful, honey.

There's glass everywhere.

- I got it, Mom.

- Okay, well, I'll help you.

- Hey, Shake, what's up?

- You okay?

Really?

Okay, well,

I'll see you there.

Hey! Hey, guess what? Fox Sports

wants to interview me on TV!

- Okay, well, we got this.

- Dad's gotta earn a living!

Twelve kids.

That's the throwback.

Irresponsible is what is is.

How come we didn't

have more kids?

Because we wanted

one perfect child...

and that's what we got.

Cool.

Honey, I'm gonna be home late

tonight. I got another press conference.

Come on. Whatever happened

to that stud...

who sat across from me

at dinner every night?

He got his dream job,

remember?

- Good-bye, Dad.

- See ya, buddy.

Tell the masseuse I'm running

about 15 minutes late.

- Day 14 on the alien planet.

- Where you goin'?

To sign up for football.

And, no, you can't come.

Could this place be

any more boring?

- There's, like, nothing to do around here.

- I could give you a makeover.

All righty, then.

Hi.

I'm Charlie Baker.

Oh, yeah, Tom Baker's boy.

Read where his old buddy Shake

threw him a bone.

Offense or defense?

I'm a quarterback.

Yeah, well,

maybe in Cowpie, Illinois.

This is 4-A, Skippy.

The bigs.

Put him on defense.

Cornerback.

By the way, when you show up

for practice, don't be wearing that hat.

Okay, uh, let's see.

Who's next? Yes?

It's been reported that you like

to blast music in your locker room. Why?

Uh, well,

it loosens up the players...

and, uh,

gets 'em psyched.

Unless, of course, I start dancing.

Then they just get nauseous.

At least we get

to see him on TV.

Coach,

how do you manage a family of 12...

and a football team?

Well, I've got

a great team here...

and a solid support system

at home.

- Go to bed, kids.

- Okay, you heard the coach.

Off to bed. Here we go.

In Midland, we were a family.

Now we're a support system?

A family is a support system, Butch.

Hello? Who's this?

- Somebody from something something.

- Okay. Shh.

Hello? Yeah, hi, Diane.

This is business. Salmons

and pinks are so homemaker.

All right, focus on

your navies and your grays.

Navy is muscle, gray is smarts. Choose

either, and you'll rule the boardroom.

- What's going on?

- Guess what?

Diane Phillips called.

My book's getting published.

Did I tell you

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