Central Intelligence Page #3

- Oh, my...

- What is that?

- Okay.

- Calvin? Are you...

Love you. Bye-bye.

No!

Stop, stop!

Hey, man. I...

Hey! What's up, guys?

Congratulations on that promotion, man.

It's quite the thing.

Thank you.

Hey, that's not work appropriate.

Yup.

Not cool, man. Not cool.

Hey, forward that to me.

For real man, seriously?

Yeah. Watch it, punk.

Excuse you, too.

My man!

Back the f*** up!

- Whoa!

- Back up, man!

Fine. I'll give you these fists.

I'll fist your ass.

Calvin. It's me, Bob.

What? Sorry, do I know you?

Do you know...

Robbie Wheirdicht from high school!

Are you kidding? What?

- Wait, you're Robbie Wheirdicht?

- Yeah!

God, man, look at you!

You've lost, like, 200 pounds!

I see you gained it back in muscle.

Oh, my God! You look great!

- No, you look great!

- Stop it.

No, you haven't changed

since high school, dude!

No, you're just sexy as dick right now.

You don't look somebody

in the eyes and say that.

Hey, let's get hammered.

I got an early day at work,

so I'll probably...

No, come on, I'm buying!

Oh, sh*t.

Mmm.

I'm sorry, man. I am blown away right now.

Dude, you used to be Fat Robbie.

Look at you!

This is like a total transformation.

You look like Hercules or somebody.

What did you do? Come on, give it to me.

- I didn't do much, really.

- Stop it.

All right. I just did one thing.

Come on, I need to know.

I worked out six hours a day, every day,

for the last 20 years straight.

- I mean, anybody can do it, right?

- Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I've gotten into hot yoga.

I started doing some sessions.

Uh-huh.

Nice unicorn, man.

Oh, yeah, I'm big-time into 'corns.

So magical, right?

You know, they're the most

lethal animal on the planet.

Here you go.

Guys, my name's Lexi.

Just let me know if you need anything.

Okay.

I mean, like, anything at all.

Okie-dokie.

You're funny. Do you ever, like, Snapchat?

- Oh, no. You know...

- I wasn't talking to you.

No, no, no. I don't do that.

I'm just catching up

with an old friend from high school.

Aw. You're so sweet.

I think unicorns are sexy, too.

That must happen to you

all the time, right?

Ah, nah.

I mean, all that meaningless sex is just...

It's not my bag anymore, CJ.

No, now, I'm looking for

more of an emotional connection.

The next woman I lay with,

she's gonna be beautiful on the inside,

just as much as she is on the outside.

Hey, wait. Whatever happened to that

girl that you liked in high school?

Oh, God, man. The "Doogie Howser" girl.

She was 14, but somehow she was a senior.

She wore a cape.

- Darla McGuckian.

- Darla McGuckian.

"Yucky Gucky."

- Didn't she have a lazy eye or something?

- Two of 'em.

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