Carry on Nurse Page #4

- I won't.

I'm sorry, you must go now, Mr Perkins.

Mr Stephens is making his round

a little earlier today.

Certainly.

Don't forget, Ted. Keep it clean. Bye-bye.

Bye, nurse.

What's all this about an anaesthetic? I just

thought I needed a drop of the old massage.

Well, we have to manipulate your wrist,

set your hand in plaster of Paris.

- The pain would be too great.

- Oh, now, come on, doc, please.

I can bear any amount of pain.

You just do what you have to right now.

I've read about your left hook, Mr Bishop.

I've no desire to feel it.

You'd be well advised to sign.

You'll be here a week.

After that, with a little luck,

you'll fight again in about three months' time.

I'm sorry, there's no quicker way.

Being in a public ward

is quite an experience for me,

and a surprisingly pleasant one, I must admit.

- Mind you, of course, coddling can go too far.

- Definitely.

Private enterprise - that's the ticket.

I mean, you take my house, for instance,

on the er...the west side of the common.

I saw it on a Monday,

brought off a deal in the City on Tuesday,

bought it on the Wednesday - cash on the nail.

Private enterprise. There is nothing like it.

Definitely. That's how I got my house.

You... You've got your own place?

Yes. The manor. West side of the common.

What, that lovely stately...?

But... But... You own that?

Rent it. 23 bob a...

No, no, no, I'm a liar.

22s 9d a week, from the council.

But... But... But how?

Well, they had to give us somewhere.

I've got 11 kids.

Private enterprise. Definitely.

- May I borrow your chair?

- (Mumbles) Yes.

(Mouths)

- All right?

- I was.

(Dramatic piano run)

- I want to talk to you.

- I want to talk to you.

Oh? What about?

Yes or no today?

Well, as a matter of fact...no.

(Piano music continues)

- (Winces)

- Drink it.

Urgh!

(Piano music resumes)

(Chattering)

- Good evening, Mr York.

- Hello!

- Would you like a hospital visitor?

- A what?

A hospital visitor. Someone who volunteers

to chat with patients who have no visitors.

No, thank you.

- You visit me.

- You see enough of me all day.

Hm?

Cor!

A lady referee.

Back in the land of the living, Mr Bishop?

I got the compensation form from the union,

dear.

Well, it's about time. Let's fill it in.

Take my glove off first.

How do you expect to fill that thing in properly

like that?

Why don't you find something to lean on?

I'll take this book.

Take this book.

Full name.

Well, don't tell me you don't know that by now.

No, it's all right, dear. I was only thinking aloud.

Oh. Block letters.

- Now, date of accident.

- 27th.

- No, dear, it couldn't have been.

- Look, I ought to know.

No, dear, it couldn't have been.

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