Carry on Nurse Page #3

eggs, one grated earphone... Earphones? Oh!

You wicked, bad girl!

I shall miss the next programme.

Feudal! That's what this place is! Feudal!

I could choke!

I'm studying nuclear physics,

the thing of the future.

I've got an examination to pass,

and I'm delayed because a survival

from the surgical Stone Age called a matron

is going to walk through here!

I could spit! I could scream!

My name's Oliver Reckitt.

You've made a mess of your hand.

Industrial injury?

Er... Pardon?

Hurt it at your work?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm a boxer.

How savage.

It's no more savage

than what you're doing, mate.

Pressing buttons, making explosions and giving

everybody horrible weather in the summer.

Come along! Come along! Come along, please!

- Yes?

- Ah, good morning.

My name's Perkins, Ted York's editor.

I've just brought some things along

from his digs. Can I see him?

Newspaper man, you know. Very busy at nights.

I doubt if he'll get anybody.

Go along in here now, out of the way.

Ted'll never get a single visitor, you know,

unless I can...

- Oh, good morning, Matron.

- Good morning, Sister.

Come along, come along. We must be quick.

I'm due at a meeting. Now...

- Good morning, Mr York.

- Good morning.

- Everything all right, I hope?

- Yes, thank you, Matron.

- Nurse?

- Ssh!

- Good morning, Mr Hinton!

- (Laughs raucously)

- (Continues laughing)

- Mr Hinton, please!

(Continues laughing)

Argh!

Beg pardon.

You're all right.

(Laughs raucously)

(Laughing continues)

- Feeling all right today?

- As well as can be expected.

If that's all there is to it,

why all the fear and trembling?

You'll see. That wasn't typical.

Stick around a few days.

I haven't got much choice, have I?

- Carry on, Sister.

- Thank you, Matron.

- Can I come out now?

- Yes, Mr Perkins. But be quick, please.

- Thank you very much.

- Come along, everybody! Back to work!

Crikey, Colonel!

She broke an all-time record today!

12 minutes, 20 seconds.

Now, I said er...14.2 You said 14.50.

You owe me half a crown, guv.

All right. There's the money there. Help yourself.

- I'll toss you, double or quits.

- Well, I must fly, sir.

- I'm all of a rush this morning.

- Blast the matron.

Listen...

Hospital life from the patient's point of view.

Byline, Ted York - dateline on the spot.

A series. It's sure-fire.

Look, everybody's interested in hospitals.

Look, we can't miss.

I'll run special supplements, special advertising.

I'll give you a bonus.

- It's as good as written.

- That's my boy.

All you've got to do is to sit here

and watch and listen and write.

YORK:
Now, don't forget the bonus.

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