Carry on Girls Page #4

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- Yes, it was, but...

Then I must warn you

that I mean to fight it to the bitter end.

Mrs Prodworthy.

I have a civic duty to support any project...

Oh, fiddlesticks! You are a weak-kneed ass.

And as far as I can see, you are as poorly

equipped to carry out your civic duties

as your domestic ones.

That's what the job's all about.

I still don't see why you have to stay down there.

They need some on-the-spot publicity now.

I've done all I can at this end.

Surely you understand?

No. Stop being so secretive and tell me

what the job's really about.

- It's a publicity campaign.

- To publicise what?

Fircombe.

They're having a sort of competition to go with it.

Like spot the b*obs?

What? What made you say that?

Well, like the one spotting the deliberate

mistakes on cornflake packets.

Well, not quite like that.

It's to encourage people to come to Fircombe.

You haven't exactly encouraged me to.

I couldn't trust myself

to ask you to come with me.

- I'd burst in and try to make love to you.

- You know I wouldn't let that happen.

Exactly, that's why I didn't...

didn't want the temptation.

Anyway, I'd lose my job,

and then I couldn't afford to marry you.

Excuse me, are you going to Fircombe?

This train's going there, yes.

Good.

- Do you know that girl?

- No.

Funny, she's going to Fircombe too.

- A lot of people must live there.

- Are we all right for Fircombe?

- I'm sure you are!

- Thanks.

I'm beginning to understand

why you don't want me down there.

Don't be ridiculous, darling.

You're the only girl in my life, you know that.

- Is this the train for the beauty contest?

- Yes, that's right.

- Oh, good. Are you coming?

- Certainly not!

Perhaps you're right. Are you in this one?

That's right, I am.

Oh, I'll join you, then.

- You didn't say anything about a beauty contest!

- I think I'd better go.

Excuse me.

Well, goodbye, darling.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

(Fabric rips)

- Oh! Oh!

Why didn't you wait until we were in the tunnel?

I thought I was. Sorry.

Sorry, darling.

Kiss?

I'll take bust any time!

Bust! Any time!

I saw them soaking in the bathroom last night,

and in the morning they were gone.

Mrs Dukes, I cannot believe that one of these

young ladies would take your knickers.

(Grunts)

I'll make enquiries, of course.

What were they like?

Red flannelette... reinforced.

Yes, I see. Well, I'm sure they must turn up.

- They can't. They've got elastic at the bottom.

- How chic.

Well, I'm sure they'll be fine.

I certainly hope so, because I don't feel at all

safe walking about this town without any.

- Perhaps I can help, Mrs Dukes.

- Oh, Admiral!

Come outside, ma'am.

I've got something to show you.

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