Carry on England Page #3

Synopsis: Captain S. Melly takes over as the new Commanding Officer at an experimental mixed sex air defence base. It's 1940 and England is under heavy bombardment, but the crew seem more interested in each other than the enemy planes above. Captain Melly plans to put a stop to all this, and becomes the target of a campaign to abandon his separatist ideals...
 
IMDB:
3.6
NOT RATED
Year:
1976
89 min
260 Views


Sergeant Major?

The only one I has to offer.

I has tried everything else.

Well, thank you. That's been a great help.

I shall have to think for both of us.

I've got it.

- We're going to have an air raid.

- My God, sir! They will panic.

- This is just a practice.

- They'll still panic.

Yes, they will, won't they?

- The wind.

- Not me, sir.

No, Sergeant Major. The wind is what you

and me are going to put up them.

(Burps)

- Gives me the wind just to look at it.

- Leonard...

- What?

- I've got this feeling.

There's a time and a place for everything.

- Not that kind of feeling.

- I didn't know you had any other.

No! Listen!

I've got this feeling that that new bloke's

going to make trouble for us.

That pipsqueaker?

He's too little to be awkward.

Squash him into the ground.

Not worried about him.

I'm more worried about this.

- Do we eat it or rub it in?

- You can bounce it off the ceiling for all I care.

Right, Sergeant Major.

They should be starting on their pudding.

Now! Now, Sergeant Major!

- Sir?

- I said now.

- There is no need to shout, sir.

- What?

- There's no need to shout!

- What are you mumbling about?

- There's no need to shout!

- Who is?

- I said now!

- Hah!

(Air raid siren wails)

Here. What's that?

- No, it can't be.

- It can't be what?

- What I think it is.

- What do you think it is?

It's an air raid.

ABLE:
Get a move on!

I'll say one thing for them, Sergeant Major...

they certainly know how to run.

Oh, yes, indeed, sir. Of course,

they is running in the wrong direction.

- What?

- The gun emplacement is over there, sir.

- Well, why are they running that way, then?

- Air raid shelter, sir.

- They built it. They calls it the snoggery.

- I don't care.

There's an air raid on.

This is an anti-aircraft battery unit!

Is it?

(Whines like an attacking bomber)

Rat-a-tat tat! Rat-a-tat tat!

(Aeroplane attacks)

(Aeroplane fires)

Bang!

MELLY:
Bang!

I could have sworn someone said "bang".

Oh, Leonard. Ooh, what a lovely idea.

(Laughs) Lovely.

I said bang!

You heard what the officer said,

you horrible shower! He said bang.

Don't you realise there's an air raid on?

(Stammers)

Course we do.

Well, then?

Well, you shouldn't be out in it. Come in here

with us, sir. There's plenty of room.

Yes, do join us, Tiger.

I'm not coming in there.

You are coming out here.

With an air raid on? There's ladies present.

- You can't have them out in an air raid.

- No, you can't.

There is no air raid.

- B-B-But you said there was.

- It's a mock air raid.

ALL:
Oooh!

I mocked it and you made a mockery of it!

That's nice, isn't it? You're having a mockery

while we're having our grub.

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David Pursall

David spent his early life in Erdington (England), the son of an accountant; he was always interested in writing and had two murder mystery novels published by the time he was sixteen. So, on leaving school, he took an apprenticeship as a journalist and became a reporter working on a local Birmingham newspaper. His ambition was to move to London to work on a national newspaper but with the threat of war looming, he joined the Royal Service Voluntary Reserve of the Fleet Air Arm as a trainee pilot before taking an officer's course at The Greenwich Naval College. During the Second World War he spent the first three years flying, winning a DSC for bravery and then transferred to the Admiralty Press Division. It was whilst he was stationed in Sydney that he met Captain Anthony Kimmins, the well-known broadcaster on naval affairs, who inspired him to work in the film industry. In 1947, settling in London, he eventually landed a post as Publicity Director for The Rank Organization and, in collaboration with the iconic portrait photographer Cornel Lucas, handled the press relations for Rank film stars, some of those he mentioned include : Jean Simmons, Petula Clark, Diana Dors, Joan Collins, Jill Ireland and Brigitte Bardot. In 1956, he joined forces with long term writing partner Jack Seddon, basing full time at Pinewood Studios, initially writing a script from his own idea Tomorrow Never Comes (1978). However, the plot was considered too provocative at that time and it was whilst trying to interest producers in this, that David and Jack were commissioned to write the script for Count Five and Die (1957); and it took twenty-one years' before Tomorrow Never Comes (1978), was made. Continuing later as a freelance film and TV scriptwriter, David worked mainly on war and murder mystery themes; his last movie made for TV was Black Arrow in 1985, a 15th century historical war drama. He worked constantly, and together with the titles listed, there were many more commissioned scripts, treatments, and original stories developed which never reached the sound stage. He also tried his hand at writing for the theatre, worked for a short time in Bollywood, took his tape recorder to the front line in Israel for a documentary on the Six Day War, and later became a Film and TV adviser; he also continued to write newspaper articles. David lived the good life; a popular, charismatic conversationalist, an idea's man, who enjoyed travelling the world circumnavigating twice, partying, theatergoing, watching night shooting at Pinewood Studios, finishing The Daily Telegraph cryptic crossword daily and driving fast cars; as well as helping the aspiring young achieve success in their careers in film and the media. Aged 69, he announced from his hospital bed, that as he'd written everything there was to write, it was his time to go. He left behind a devoted wife and a daughter. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Carry on England" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/carry_on_england_5120>.

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