Carolina Page #3

I swear that child is one taco|short of a combination plate.

Albert, come in here|and get your belly full.

- I've got a present for you.|- Don't you knock?

Mirabeaus don't knock.|Maine, we have no boundaries.

What are you doing?

Maine is winning the lottery.

Is that so?

The rocking horse boy rode so hard|he went into a trance

and in the trance he saw the winning|horse's name before each race.

You reading D.H. Lawrence now?

I put big money on the Kentucky|Derby and I'm gonna win the lottery.

I've already seen two winning|lottery numbers. 4 and 27, see?

4 and 27.

If you insist on patronizing me,|please leave.

You're clouding my trance.

What's that?

Onscreen programming.

You can set the timer to record|your favorite shows. See?

Don't let technology scare you.

Nothing scares me, kid.|I just want you to do it for it.

Hey.

Guess what? Grandma got a top of the|line VCR. It only cost her 50 bucks.

So I heard.

Shut.

You gotta do what you gotta do,|Carolina.

Life is serious business.

I got me my leather interiors|with that toilet paper trick.

Works every single time.|No bullshit.

Okay, all you lazy

good-for-nothing goldbrickers.

Dinner is served.|Come and get it.

If grandma offers you|jerky or chitlings say no.

Well.

I see your Aunt Marilyn|brought her breasts.

- Warning one, Albert.|- How long was she in for?

Three months.

Aunt Marilyn used her|little black book again.

Police chief, who was into high|heels, let her out on good behavior.

Inspiring. She should write a book.|Daphne St. Claire could co-write it.

- Over Daphne's dead body.|- Daphne could use the research.

Would you really sleep with a $50|a night hooker and pay for it?

I don't know about paying for it.

No, seriously.

Seriously?

I've never really been|a one-night-stand kind of guy.

So you've been in love with|all the women you've slept with?

Well...

Well, how many have there been?

Afew.

Okay, but how many?

Hey, back off.

So you really think you know|what love feels like?

Come on, Carolina,|stop dawdling.

- Come on.|- Yes, Ma'am.

No, I don't eat meat any more,|remember?

And you wonder why|you can't find a man?

Watch it.

Next.

Got it close, didn't I?

What's that in your hand?

It's a party, isn't it?

What's with you

and my daughter?|Ain't you having sex yet?

What?

No, no. We're just good friends,|that's all.

What's the matter?|She not good enough for you?

- No, no.|- What?

I mean, yes, of course she is...|She's just...

friends and sex don't mix.

Where's... I'm sorry, what's|his name, your new boyfriend?

- Seth.|- Right.

I broke his heart.

Why do I keep doing that?

What happened?

I told him my baby wasn't his.

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