Captain Newman, M.D. Page #5

anything yet.

We keep sheep

in the back yard

for tests for the lab.

How about a nice game

of gin tonight?

Who plans that far ahead?

LElBOWlTZ:
I'm living

from minute to minute.

He'll make

a good orderly,

Blodgie.

He understands suffering.

You're leveling, Doc.

I'm all right now?

You're as normal

as fleas on a dog.

All that's left is

for you to realize it.

You better get

around to it.

I've got you marked

fit for duty.

You're going back

to your outfit.

I am? When?

I think I can steal you

a 10-day pass.

Ten days at home

with your family

and after that...

So, start packing.

I need your bed.

You've got it, sir.

And I got a 4:
10 bus

to catch.

LElBOWlTZ:
(SlNGlNG)

Old MacDonald had a farm,

E-I-E-I-O

And on that farm

he had some chicks

Your new orderly is

standing on a chair,

conducting

the Colfax Glee Club.

Next, he'll be

passing out lollipops.

MEN:
(SlNGlNG)

Here a chick, there a chick

Everywhere a chick, chick

LElBOWlTZ:
Come on, you guys.

Louder. Everybody.

Come on, you crazy bums.

Don't you want to get well?

Sing!

Old MacDonald had a farm,

E-I-E-I-O

Well, yes, we set up

a medical hearing

for Tuesday,

but Colonel Bliss

begged off.

And after all his yelling

to get out of here.

Did he say why?

No.

I offered to set up

another hearing

at his convenience.

He was to let me know,

and that was three days ago.

How is that for a puzzler?

It worries me.

Whatever was behind

that Officers' Club thing,

Colonel Bliss doesn't

think it was trivial.

(EXCLAlMS) Sorry, sir.

Oh, Colonel?

Yes.

I finally solved

the mystery of

the missing orderly.

Corporal Leibowitz

didn't vanish into

thin air.

He was somehow

maneuvered into

Ward 7

and he's been

working there

ever since.

Isn't that so,

Captain Newman?

Well, is it?

Well, l

couldn't call

an attractive girl

like that a liar.

Joe, you can't just

hijack a soldier

and put him in your ward

without telling anyone.

As far as the Army

is concerned,

Leibowitz has been AWOL

for two weeks.

You're absolutely

right, Colonel.

Excuse me for

just a moment.

BARNEY:
Joe!

Well, I'll be shoving off.

Thanks for everything.

Pleasure having you, Barney.

Say hello to

the Pentagon.

(CHUCKLlNG)

We don't speak.

Well, so long.

So long.

Lieutenant Corum,

I'm truly very sorry.

I'll check my staff,

I'll find out who's

responsible for this.

Try sodium pentothal.

It's wonderful stuff

for getting at the truth.

If that is what

we're after, Captain.

Well, Leibowitz probably

just happened to drift in.

Guess we'll have to put

the whole thing down to

a foul-up in paperwork.

All right.

The truth is,

we needed him.

You needed him?

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