Camp Dread Page #3

the fact of the matter.

Okay, you're all

forced to come here,

it was either this, jail, or

rehab for almost all of you.

Fortunately, you all have

parents who care about you

and though I know most of

you don't believe that,

I think by the time

this speech is over,

you're gonna be

happy you're here.

I'm Julian Barrett.

I directed and wrote a

series of horror films

in the 1980's

called Summer Camp.

Now, while you're here

to work on yourselves,

there's the opportunity

to have some fun

and win a considerable

amount of money.

- F*** this.

I'm out.

- The winner gets

a million dollars.

- So, we're a bunch of f*** ups

and we get a shot at

a million dollars?

God bless America.

- Who knew?

Your head counselor

is Rachel Steel

from my films.

- I can't believe this,

I've never been so wet.

Rachel F***ing Steel.

- And this is the camp kitchen,

it has everything

you can think of.

- [Vinny] Pinocchio!

- It's a walk through

freezer, it's off

and the latch is broken,

stay away from it.

Follow me.

- Follow that ass anywhere.

(ominous music)

- As you know from your

agreement this is a real camp,

these are real woods with

real critters in them.

Bears are no stranger

to this place.

Big, black bears.

Okay, should there

ever be a problem,

there's a handgun in the

main desk in the boathouse.

There's ammo as well.

- You put a handgun in

the drawer and just let us

casually know it's there?

- Well you'll be glad I

did if you find yourself

being chased by a

400 pound black bear.

- Oh man, why's it always

gotta be a black thing, huh?

- Come on man.

- [Julian] That would be

funny, if that were funny.

- I'm just saying.

- Follow me.

Some cameras are still photos.

Resign yourself to the

idea that you're being

recorded all the time, okay?

- See I just don't

understand how we went

from being punished to now

we're on a reality show.

- Well, this is experimental,

it may never get picked up.

- If it doesn't get picked

up does it have anything

to do with the million bucks?

- No, the last one

standing gets it.

Last word on that.

And why do you look at a

chance to correct yourself

as being punished?

- No bro, he's just saying.

- Yo, I wanna get

caught jerkin' off,

you know like really goin' at

it, like all red in the face

and like sweatin' and sh*t,

so then they can't blur it out

and then all the

uptight people watch it

and they get all offended

and they start complainin'

and then they just start

trendin' me on Twitter and sh*t.

- How much thought

did you put into that?

- [Julian] 12 hour batteries

and everything's waterproof.

Charge overnight and

you have a backup,

keep it pinned chest

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