Buck Wild Page #4

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is that women are crazy.

You can't allow them

to twist your reality.

I mean, you've been with this

broad for what, a year?

Maybe two?

Am I right?

Six years actually.

Six years?!

Really?

Yeah.

All right, so you've been

with this chick for six years

and she's out

bangin' some other guy,

givin' it to him every night

and then crawling home to you

where you got to

pick up the sloppy seconds.

The worst part about that

is you don't even know

you're getting sloppy seconds.

Man, I tell you,

that's like when somebody

puts a hair in your food

or spits in your iced tea.

All right, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!

Nothing happened, okay?

I don't want to

talk anymore about it.

Look, I know

you're trying to help,

but... I'm fine.

Aah.

Hey, Craig,

need anything to help you sleep?

I got a little something

that'll knock you right out.

I'm sure you do, Jerry.

Hey, Craig,

thanks for invitin' me along.

Sure.

Good night.

Hey. Candy?

Come out.

Come out, come out,

wherever you are.

Candy?

Candy, is that you?

What the hell?

Do me, Lance.

Okeydokey.

Hey.

Careful now.

Easy now. Easy.

There's plenty of Lance to go around.

Hey, is everything all right?

C-candy?

Wow.

So, you want to play rough, huh?

Wow.

Too rough!

Man.

Wow. Yeah.

Ooh! Oh.

I-is that blood?

Do me, Lance!

Oh, my God!

A-are you okay?

You look sick.

It's just the sniffles.

Do me, Lance!

Yeah, look,

I should probably just go.

Big day tomorrow.

You know how it goes.

Look, now, uh, I'm no germ freak

but you look like you might be

coming down with something.

M-my health insurance

just lapsed.

Health insurance?

I'm in between jobs

at the moment.

Do me, Lance!

Hey, you know, I think

I've got some cough syrup

back at the...

back at the old cabin.

I'll just...

I'll just go grab you some.

Don't you want a piece of candy?

Yeah.

Sh*t!

Wha-cha!

Hoo!

What are you doing, Jerry?

Training.

Could you maybe train

with a pair of pants on, huh?

I wouldn't want Clyde

to come by...

or anyone else, for that matter.

Clothes are too confining, boss.

They interfere with the

spiritual alignment of the body.

I tell you,

if it weren't illegal,

I'd be naked all the time.

Yeah, well it is illegal, okay?

Even way out here.

Almost done here, boss.

How'd you sleep?

Good.

Uh, good. Good sleep.

You know...

...I was thinkin' a lot

about last night, you know.

Then I started thinking about how

you've been so good to me lately

and how I'd like to, uh...

Like to do something...

a little something nice for you.

That's all right, Jerry.

Putting on pants is good enough.

No, no, no, no.

We're cousins...

family.

So I was thinking about it.

If you want me to,

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