Bruno & Boots: The Wizzle War Page #5

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yonder doorway breaks?

Lo, 'tis Headmaster Sturgeon,

here to do

his annual recitation.

- Distraction detected.

- Distraction detected.

Distraction detected.

What on earth

is going on in here?

English class, sir.

English...?

So where's Mr. Vickers?

With the other teachers,

playing poker

in the teachers' lounge.

You have got

to be kidding me.

Mr. Sturgeon, is there

a reason for this disruption?

Actually, yes, there is.

There's a tradition here

at Macdonald Hall

going back

about a hundred years,

where the headmaster

kicks off the new term

by visiting an English class

and delivering

a good old-fashioned

Shakespearean monologue.

I used to be considered quite

the scene stealer

back in my drama club days.

Ahem, here we go.

Alas, poor Yorick!

I knew him, Horatio,

a fellow of infinite jest...

- Distraction detected.

- Distraction detected.

Mr. Sturgeon, I will have to

ask you to stop this intrusion.

I'm hardly the intruder

here, Mr. Wizzle.

Surely there's room

for the Bard in Wizzleware.

Actually,

Wizzleware has condensed

all of the work

of Shakespeare

into easily

understandable directives.

Wizzleware, what is the point

of Hamlet?

Don't marry

your brother's wife,

and avoid morose

introspection.

Oh, that is absurd.

Surely you can't condense

a play like Romeo and Juliet

into a sentence.

always check your messages.

Okay, that's fair.

Wizzleware

eliminates the need

for any outdated

teaching practices.

The old ways,

like the dinosaurs,

had their day,

and that day is done.

Gather up your gym socks,

Boots, I've got laundry to do.

What?

I'm out. I'm done.

The bet is off.

But I don't care,

because nobody calls

my headmaster a dinosaur.

Okay, thank you, Bruno.

That's enough.

Identify and assess.

talking distraction.

Five demerits.

Please be seated,

Mr. Walton.

Class, resume your lesson.

Bruno, sit down.

A- and if

he was a dinosaur,

he'd be a killer T. rex,

and then maybe you'd show him

the respect he deserves.

Thank you, Bruno.

Sit down.

Reassess.

Insubordination.

Ten demerits.

All right, look, that's

enough out of both of you.

I'm gonna be going now.

But you know, Mr. Wizzle,

I fail to see how all

this screen tapping

could possibly instill

a lifelong love of language.

It doesn't,

which is precisely why

it's so much more efficient.

Goodbye, Mr. Sturgeon.

You should be careful

with your demerits.

The Wizzlebands

only display double digits

for a reason.

You're the one who needs

to be careful, Wizzle,

because this means war.

I hereby

call this meeting of

the Anti-Wizzle Committee

to order.

All in favor

of getting rid of Wizzle

and his high-tech,

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