Broken Hearts Club Page #3

not because we're boyfriends.

- I don't want to talk about this.|- You never wanna talk.

You just want to smoke pot,|watch the f***ing Cartoon Network.

What's to talk about? We're|ex-boyfriends who still screw around.

I want more. You don't.

I hang on because I love you.

I wait desperately for the day|you calm down, wake up...

and realize you love me.

You hang on because it's easy.

When you say it that way,|I sound like an a**hole.

Okay, wait. Hold on.|First television crush.

Oh, easy. John-Boy Walton.

Yes, honey, I always wanted to be|the last one to say good night to him.

- No, that mole.|- Mine is Matthew Laborteaux.

- Who's that?|- Albert from "Little House."

Wait a minute. It was the morphine|addiction episode, wasn't it?

- How did you know?|- 'Cause you have a thing for bad boys.

The valley stream is clear enough|to reflect even a hair or a whisker.

Why should I keep this mirror?

See, as an artist, it's crucial|that I reject the mirror for the stream.

Right.

I'm gonna get a drink.|Do you wanna hang here or--

Definitely.

I mean, you know, whatever.

So how do you and Benji|know each other?

We fold jeans at Structure.

Okay, my first television crush:|Aquaman.

Aquaman? Are you kidding me?

No, you laugh, but he was a blond|and he had a swimmer's build.

I don't like blondes though.

- Swimmer's?|- It was a lot of crap.

Listen, boys,|I'm not leaving this party...

until you sign up...

to be on the best team|in the West Hollywood Softball League...

the Broken Hearts!

So come on over here|and sign up, guys.

Free drinks for a signature!

Oh, they'll all quit|after we lose the first game.

- That looks good, actually.|- Don't do that.

I have to let it set|for at least-- Gosh.

- Guess who's outside.|- Who?

J. Crew guy from New Year's.

- No sh*t. At my party?|- Yeah.

Come here.

Over there by the dining room table|talking to a bunch of his friends.

There he is. Oh, my God.

Shut the door.

It's your birthday star|shining on you.

We barely hooked up last time.|He probably doesn't even remember me.

How 'bout you?|Any luck with the coworker?

Who had a chance?|Cole moved right in.

I just live with him.

It wouldn't have worked anyway.|The guy's a total newbie.

- Hasn't even told me he's gay yet.|- No sh*t. You can pick 'em.

I know. I can't help myself.

They remind me how great|it used to feel, you know.

When you first come out,|and every guy in the room is just--

Possibility.

Yeah.

Then you find out|we are the possibility.

- Oh, damn.|- What?

Much like a Zen master,|you must struggle to find freshness...

in the mundane tasks of your world.

That, of course,|being the world of retail.

I totally understand what you mean.

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