Breakdown Lane

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1

- We have brought upon us

our own destruction, my beloved.

It was without form and void.

Unto the heavens and

they had no light.

I looked and behold,

there was no man.

I looked and behold, the

fruitful land was a desert.

And its cities were laid

in ruins before the lord.

Before his fierce anger

for thus, said the lord,

"the whole land

shall be desolation."

Jeremiah, chapter 4:23-27.

It is said by the unwise,

by the unbelievers

that death comes to us

in the visage of a reaper

harvesting his crops

with a great scythe.

But we've been

taught differently.

For the trumpet will sound

and the dead will be

raised imperishable.

And this mortal body

must put on immortality.

Behold.

- Hey there.

- Just this stuff and...

Let's make it...

$12.92 in gas.

- By an epidemic,

an epidemic of sin.

We have brought upon us our

own destruction, my beloved.

I am the resurrection

and the life,

whoever believes in me

though he die yet

shall he live.

- I love him.

- How can you love

somebody you've never met?

- Don't over-pump.

- You have a nice day too.

- And honey, be careful,

there are crazies out there.

- Hey!

Hey!

Hey you, please!

Please you have to help me!

You have to help me,

no, no, no, come on.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- Can you please help him?

- He's not contagious is he?

- Hey hey hey hey hey hey.

Okay wait, your name

is Richard Hanna.

We've been married 10 years,

come on, remember?

Stay with me, stay with me.

- What's your name, sweetie?

- Um, Dee, I'm Dee.

He's dying, isn't he?

- I don't know, Dee,

maybe we should take him

to the hospital.

- No, emergency room was

overflowing, people everywhere.

He wanted to try somewhere else

and um, I shouldn't

have listened to him.

I think running made it worse.

- Mommy, what's a Sisyphus?

- Dee, let me call

an ambulance, okay?

I'm sorry, I don't

know what else to do.

- That was a nice thing

you did for that lady.

Your detritus.

- Hi.

- Hey Kirbs.

- What's up?

Just checkin' in with you.

- Hey did you know the family from the

hills have eyes opened a gas station?

- On your way?

- You betcha.

- Maybe sometime

you'll let me come

to your place.

- Let's uh, not have

this conversation

for the millionth time.

- I could meet your friends.

- They're all jerks.

- Could cook you my pizza rolls.

- Real pizza, my treat.

- You don't

sleep well in my bed.

- I'm not going there to sleep.

- You just winked

to the phone, didn't you?

- Maybe.

- Fine,

you just got me wondering

if you've got heads

in your freezer.

- Uh huh.

Wait, I'm coming

up on another one.

There's an outback.

- A rendezvous

just rolled past my place.

- Oh my god.

Oh wait, here's another one.

It's a breeze.

Hello?

Hello?

Damn it.

Sh*t.

God damnit.

- License and registration.

No bullshit please.

Having ourselves a

little road trip are we?

- Skills like that you'll

make detective in no time.

Hey, I have the

same phone as you.

- Miss Lane.

- Don't sneak up

on me like that!

- Do you know why I

pulled you over today?

- To protect everybody

else on the road?

- Everyone's a comedian, huh?

I wrote you up for speeding

and dangerous operation.

That's a $500 fine.

- But there's nobody else

to endanger, come on!

- Listen, I'm too tired

to argue with you,

so um, how 'bout this?

I will agree to tear

up your citation

if you agree to take

a nap for 60 minutes

and decide to drive slow

for the rest of your trip.

- Really?

- 60 minutes, I want your word.

- Sold.

- I'll radio in that I let

you off with a warning.

You drive safely now.

- Please, please,

please, please, please.

- Thank you for

calling Northstar,

this is Max, am I

speaking to Kirby Lane?

- Yes.

- How can I help

you tonight, miss Lane?

- This piece of

sh*t car won't go.

- Okay, miss Lane,

I understand this is a

taxing situation.

- I go out and I get all this

turbo this, road side that,

and then when I need the car,

it craps on itself and dies.

- Now miss Lane,

I'm sure it's not dead.

- It has big Xs where the

headlights used to be.

- Okay, well, let's

see what we have here.

Okay, have you been doing

routine maintenance?

Tire pressure, changing the oil?

- Yes?

- Uh huh, I see.

Are you hurt or in any danger?

- I think I heard some

wolverines earlier.

- Well, according

to our records, miss Lane,

that SUV of yours is the

next best thing to a tank.

You should be fine.

But uh, looks like your

transmission's fried.

- I'm stuck in neutral.

- All right, I'll put

a call in for a tow truck,

but based on your location,

it's gonna be a few hours.

- Hours?

Maybe I should just walk.

- Don't be a hero, miss Lane.

Just sit tight, okay,

help is on the way.

- Thanks tons.

- I'll check in

on you later, miss Lane.

Thank you for using Northstar.

- Thank you,

Mr. personality.

Call voice mail.

Calling voice mail.

You have no messages.

Jesus!

- Dammit.

Sh*t!

- Where the f*** are you?

- Car broke down and the

stupid tow truck is taking

the scenic route.

You wanna go to video?

- You bet I do.

- You look a little wobbly.

- Well I am feeling

a little frisky.

- I've had a long day, sweetie,

and my phone's about to die,

so...

- Sounds like somebody

needs to unwind a bit.

I can help you

with that you know.

I specialize in

getting you to unwind.

Besides, what else

are you gonna do

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