Bowfinger Page #3

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I'm really a big-time producer with clout.

Welcome to MindHead.

Welcome to MindHead.

Seems as though

you're doing much better.

- Yes. Yes.

- Your paranoia...

...is definitely under control

since you came to understand...

...Happy Premise Number One.

Happy Premise Number One:

There are no aliens.

Happy Premise Number Two.

Happy Premise Number Two:

There is no giant foot trying to squash me.

Happy Premise Number Three.

Happy Premise Number Three:

Even though I feel like I might ignite...

...I probably won't.

What do we do?

Keep it together.

Keep it together. Keep it together.

And what is it we don't do

under any circumstances?

- Oh, man!

- What is it?

I have to show it to the Laker Girls.

You cannot show it to the Laker Girls.

Keep Mr. Weenie in the pants.

Always in the pants.

I know you want to show it

to the Laker Girls...

...but you must never show it

to the Laker Girls.

What did he say?

Betsy, come here.

Sit! Come.

Sit!

Good girl! Come here. What a good girl.

- Is she amazing, or what?

- What did he say?

I'm at the meeting with Jerry Renfro,

and it's going very well.

But, I'm looking at him and I'm thinking,

I don't need him.

What I need is someone like a Kit Ramsey.

Kit Ramsey makes this a go picture.

- So, I went to see Kit at his home.

- My God.

What did he say?

- What did who say?

- What did Kit Ramsey say?

I'm meeting with Kit at his home...

By the way, he knew who I was.

I gave him the script,

and he looked through the script.

And I said, "So, what do you think?

Are you interested in doing this movie?"

Kit looked at me...

...he said...

Kit, just...

...said:

"Yes."

Kit Ramsey said yes?

Kit Ramsey is doing this movie!

- You told them we'd make this movie?

- That's right, I did.

- You have to tell them.

- Tell them what?

- We're not gonna make the movie.

- Dave, I made them a promise.

How will you make the movie

with Kit Ramsey? He said no.

You don't think I worked that out?

We'll make the movie

with Kit Ramsey, except...

- Except what?

- Except he won't know he's in it.

What?

We secretly follow him around

with a camera.

Our actors walk up to him

and say their lines.

And he's in our movie,

and we don't have to pay him.

- What's he gonna say?

- What difference does it make?

It's an action movie.

All he's gotta do is run.

He runs away from the aliens,

he runs toward the aliens.

I want to show you something.

Got this all worked out, I think.

There are six major scenes with Kit.

The ones in red.

He's not in any of the other scenes...

...so we just shoot those

with our own actors on our own time.

Bingo, we've got a movie.

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