Bowfinger Page #2
to make a movie, not a film.
You're supposed to be the agent!
You better find me a line
like the time I told Tommy Lee Jones...
..."F*** you," and blew his brains out.
You know what's happening?
Another example of the white man
taking all the best catch phrases...
...and then giving them
to Arnold or Stallone.
Exactly. And Jackie Chan and Van Damme.
They can't even speak English good.
There's covert stuff goin' on.
Some covert sh*t I just found out.
I'm glad you're here. Come in here.
Right now, everybody. Come here.
- What you talkin' about?
- Just for fun...
...I scanned the script to see
how many times the letter "K" appears.
The letter "K" appears
in this script 1,456 times.
That's perfectly divisible by three.
- So what're you saying?
- What am I sayin'?
"KKK" appears in this script 486 times.
- The sickness is deep.
- He's playing you.
- I've been played.
- That's really not the case here.
This is a great script.
It's not Shakespeare, but...
- What'd you just say?
- I said, "It's not Shakespeare, but..."
It's not... Did you hear what he's doing?
He's doing something.
I just can't put my finger on it.
What's he doing?
- Shakespeare, Freddy.
- Shakespeare!
- "Shake-a-spear. Spear-chucker."
- "Shake-a-spear!"
I'm a spear-chucker now.
- Call me a spear-chucker.
- It doesn't mean that!
It's my imagination?
There's no computer chip
in LaToya Jackson's brain.
She just acts like that.
Teddy Kennedy ain't 1/16 black.
- Teddy Kennedy?
- He's different to the other Kennedys.
- I got some calls to make.
- Go make some calls. Call Arnold and Sly!
And Van Damme and Jackie Chan.
Tell 'em the spear-chucker said hello!
Get my door just as fast
as you get Tom Hanks'!
- Wait. Who are you?
- Script delivery from Paramount.
- I ain't expectin' no script from Paramount.
- I mean Universal.
- Maybe so. Come on.
- Gotta have you sign.
- I ain't signing sh*t.
- It's all good. This script is butter.
- What?
- Butter, butter. This stuff is butter.
It's all good. It's jiggy baby.
How you know it's all good and jiggy baby?
- I was reading it on the way over.
- You read my script?
it's a twist on the usual.
- It's science fiction, which we know sells...
- You shut up.
I'll whip your ass.
You don't be reading my stuff.
- Get off the property!
- I just got a little excited.
I gotta get over to my MindHead meeting.
MindHead?
- MindHead?
- MindHead! You need a lift?
- I can't believe that!
- Yeah! Come on in.
- Thank you.
- What a coincidence!
- Who's your guide?
- Terry Stricter. Yours?
- Ray.
- Ray?
It's people like you
that give MindHead a bad name!
You lying sack of sh*t!
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"Bowfinger" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bowfinger_4559>.
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