Bo Burnham: what. Page #2
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2013
- 60 min
- 2,714 Views
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But you all thought
it was an accident
But he meant to play the water
track again-gain-gain
Art's still alive,
nothing's still real
- Food jokes.
Let's do some food jokes.
Segues are weird.
I had a hot dog
for breakfast today,
and afterwards
I felt like this...
'cause I couldn't control
my stools.
All right, Jesus.
Glad you like poop-based puns.
That'll be a majority
of the show.
Never waste a moment.
Every moment can become
a comedic moment.
See? So just a little lesson
for comedians.
This first song is called
A World on Fire.
[screaming]
This next song, it's a little
bit longer than that one, and--
Thank you.
It's about how sad I am,
and I'm really sad.
And it's called Sad.
[melancholy music]
It's about all the sad stuff.
Just picture a depressed onion
cutting itself.
[whimpers]
I met a homeless man
named Rich
[laughter]
Isn't that terrible?
I saw a flyer for a lost dog
And the dog didn't have
any legs
I saw a diabetic kid
Trick-or-treating
I saw a giraffe
who had a short neck
That was sad or a deer
I saw an old man
get hit by a train
He didn't see it
in the pouring rain
He didn't hear me shout,
"Look out for the train."
'Cause I didn't say anything.
I just thought to myself,
"Ooh, this is gonna be sad."
And it was.
I'm a genius.
[whimpers]
I saw a man
with only one eye
In a 3-D movie
I saw a little boy
drop his ice cream cone
Directly
on his mother's corpse
I saw a kitten
stuck in a tree
and he hung itself
I saw a boy
who had red hair
I went to a store
looking for something to buy
But they only sold paintings
of the same sad guy
No, wait
See what I did there?
Let's rock!
No.
The world's so sad, bros.
Pain, genocide, war,
sexism, racism.
But I got to remember there's
like the fact that
none of that's happening to me.
Score.
Still, though, it's hard
not to be sad about it.
How do y'all do it?
I've been telling you guys
terribly sad things
this whole song.
You haven't been sad at all.
You've been--
you've been happy.
No, you've been laughing.
That's it.
Laughter--it's the key
to everything.
It's the way to solve
all the sadness in the world.
I mean, not for the people
that are actually sad
but the people like us
that got to f***ing deal
with them all the time.
Being a comedian isn't being
an insensitive prick,
capitalizing on the most
animalistic impulses
of the public.
It's being a hero.
The world isn't sad.
The world's funny.
I'm a sociopath.
I saw an old man
slip and fall
Hey, what a f***ing idiot
I saw a woman
at her daughter's funeral
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"Bo Burnham: what." Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bo_burnham:_what._4401>.
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