Bo Burnham: Make Happy Page #4

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Short and stout Here is my handle

Here is my spout When I get all steamed up

Then I shout Sing it

Tip me over and... -[audience] Pour me out!

-Let's go. [man] Pour me out

Pour me out Tip me over

And pour me out Nigga, pour me out Pour me out - Tip me over and pour me out

-Okay. Baa, baa, black sheep

Have you any wool? Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full One for the master, one for the dame One for the little boy

That's livin' down the lane - Baa

-[man] Lives down the lane - Whoo!

- Lives down the lane Why is there a young boy

living alone down the lane? -Who signed this boy's lease?

-[audience laughing] Am I the only one

concerned for this little boy? Two examples is enough. -[music stops]

-Okay, thank you. [audience cheering and applauding] A lesser comedian

would have milked that for four verses. And a better comedian

wouldn't have done it all. [chuckles] I'm right in the sweet spot. These, uh... These cannons cost $200,

just for that joke. I could give that money

to a homeless person, make their day, and I don't do that very often. That is my first decision every morning. Not today. Nah.

I'll do that tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and it's still today. Tomorrow's a relative term.

We're not getting there. Makes Annie more depressing. [audience laughing and cheering] [woman cheers] -F*** you.

-[audience laughing] You don't know where I'm going.

Don't act like it. You are not ahead of me. I will retain the element of surprise.

[exclaims] I'm trying to work on my improv. My show is very planned,

uh, to the word. -You know, to the gesture.

-[spring sound effect] And I'm trying to break out of that. I want to make something

brand new for every show, that only a few people get to experience. -What's your name, man?

-Rob. Rob? All right. I'm gonna try to make up a song

about Rob... [chuckles] off the top of my head.

This might not work. Um, it's just...

It's to keep me sharp, trying to... I'm stalling,

trying to think of rhymes for Rob. It's not fair.

Okay. Song about Rob.

Hit the track. [upbeat music playing] F***. [man] Bo had sex with... - Rob's...

- Mom Bo had sex with... - Rob's...

- Mom Bo, I heard you had sex

with older woman last night. I did. -What's her son's name?

-Rob, he's right there. -I f***ed his mother.

- Bo had sex with... - Rob's...

- Mom Bo had sex with... - Rob's...

- Mom I f***ed her for an hour

Then left when I was done 'Cause f***ing is her game

And Rob is her son -[music stops]

-Did we plan that? We did not plan that. -[audience cheering and applauding]

-How does he do it? How does he pretend to do it?

How does he remain contrived? I'm not... I'm not honest

for a second up here! Honesty is for the birds, baby. You want an honest comedian,

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