Bo Burnham: Make Happy Page #3

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all right? But I am against double standards

across the board. Why is it... that when a woman

wears revealing clothing, she's labeled a slut, yet if I were to wear

her skin as a jacket, I'm a murderer? -What?

-[audience laughing] If I f*** a kid,

I'm a pedophile, but if a kid fucks me,

I'm the pedophile again? Twice in a week?

What is this? -[upbeat music playing]

-[man] Hey, Bo. Do you want to sing a song with us? -Okay.

-Great! -I don't know the words, though.

-That's all right. -You'll figure it out.

-All right! -Whoo!

- Hey, Bo, guess what? -What?

- You're a f*ggot -[music stops]

-[audience laughing] [audience cheering and applauding] Wasn't clever, it was just mean. Bigoted.

I apologize for that. So I was interrupted the other day

while my-- -[man] Hey, Bo.

-Motherf***er. -You want to sing another song together?

-I really don't. -Too bad.

-God damn it. Hey, Bo, guess what? -I'm a f*ggot.

-Correct! It's not funny. You're a f*ggot, you're a f*ggot

You're a f***ing f*ggot You're a f*ggot, you're a f***ing... Can you turn the lights off at least? You're a f*ggot, you're a f*ggot

You're a f***ing f*ggot... Is this funny to you people?

Turn it off. Turn the track off! -[record scratches]

-[music stops] -Why was it on a record player?

-[audience laughing] You got a record player back there?

You have hooked up a record player? You know,

it's one thing to make that, but to press it onto vinyl

is a whole other thing, all right? -It's gonna outlive me.

-[audience applauding] Just to be clear,

I wrote, conceived and executed the entirety of that bit. -Do not give those dumb fucks any credit.

-[audience laughing] It's all me, baby.

All me. Look at you people

in the Abe Lincoln seats. Bam! Too late.

Too late. How dare you make that joke so late? I'm a big fan of hip-hop. 'Cause I like words.

I like poetry. And hip-hop feels like a way

to condense a lot of those things into a short amount of time. There are artists

that still do that. Uh... Yeah, Kendrick Lamar,

very word-heavy, very poetic. But-- -[audience cheers]

-What are you doing? Look, this is my show. Do not veer credit

to people outside this building. -[audience laughing]

-[chuckles] Most... [chuckles]

most... Hip-hop artists, for me,

and it is for me, hip-hop, has traded in words and poetry

for beat fetishism. It's where you make a sick beat

and then you rap anything over it. And people lose their minds. I'll give you an example.

Is there a sick beat back there for me? -[hip-hop beat playing]

-Oh, sh*t! [rapping]

I am not one of you I am not a human being You know what I am? I'm a little teapot

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