Blue Streak Page #5

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Bring your weeble-wobble ass over here.

- You like snacks?

- Nothing makes me happier.

You'll be snacking on the bottom

of this shoe if this happens again.

Now, you see them ridges?

These ridges will be imprinted

on the back of your ass...

...permanently if this happens again.

You understand?

Thoroughly understand you.

Every time you look at your ass

there's gonna be a print there.

It's gonna remind you of us.

- And of you lying.

- Right.

Don't wanna see those ridges.

Stop eating cold cuts because

it's seeping through your pores.

Will do.

I'll put one ridge on your ass.

Let's roll. That's cool.

Let's get out of here.

Detective, I know I'm new at this...

...but I thought we were supposed

to arrest the bad guys.

Now he owes us one.

So that's how it works.

We let the little fish go, so that

we can catch the big fish later.

I got it. I got it.

You mind if I drive?

I know a shortcut.

You might wanna buckle up.

Are you in a hurry, sir?

Just testing your car.

Balancing out your sh*t.

When was the last time

you got all up on this thing?

I've never gotten all up

on anything, sir.

Sometimes you gotta feed

some speed to your ride.

Sir! Watch it!

This is the police!

Move your busted-ass vehicle!

Move, move, move, move, move!

This is the LAPD.

We'll pop one in your ass.

We got guns and sh*t.

I could get used to this!

I like!

I like!

Used to what?

Driving. See, my last partner

did all the driving.

Who was your partner?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Why?

Hey, look, I'm deep, okay? There's

just some places I can't talk about.

We're partners. We gotta communicate.

This thing's like a marriage.

No, this is nothing like a marriage.

- What is it like?

- It's more like a one-night stand.

Wham, bam, thank you, officer.

- It's like that?

- It's like that.

We're just gonna fight crime

and zip the rest of that sh*t up.

Are you married?

- Girlfriend?

- Not anymore.

What happened?

Work got in the way.

See?

Somebody took out a fire hydrant.

- I'll handle this.

- I gotta get back. I got a headache.

We're on duty.

But I need an aspirin.

A big one, like a hockey puck.

Gentlemen. Excuse me.

Could you come here for a second?

Relax, sir.

Just take it easy for a second.

Morning, officer.

Morning. Where's your aspirins?

Back there by the soda machines.

Appreciate it.

I wanna know how the car

hit the fire hydrant.

- Open the register!

- Don't shoot!

Come on, man!

Oh, man!

Come on! The safe too!

Come on.

Shots fired. Request help.

Detective Malone!

You okay?

Oh, sh*t!

Get back! Back! Get back!

Freeze!

Put your hands on the pavement!

- Hands on the pavement!

- There is no pavement!

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