Blazing Saddles Page #3

to send us a sheriff?

Why should we get our own men killed?

Howard Johnson is right.

We'll wire the governor.

Then let us pray for the deliverance

of our new sheriff.

Will the congregation please rise?

I shall now read from the books

of Matthew, Mark, Luke...

...and duck!

We've got to do something at once!

Governor, may I disturb

you for a moment, sir?

If you will just sign this, governor.

Right here.

Yes, what the hell is it?

Well, under the provisions

of this bill...

...we would snatch 200,000 acres

of Indian territory...

...which we have deemed unsafe

for their use at this time.

They're such children.

200,000 acres!

200,000 acres!

What will it cost, man?

What will it cost?

A box of these.

Are you crazy? They'll never go

for it, and then again they might.

The little red devils, they

love toys. May I try one?

These things are defective.

Right as usual, sir.

Show-off!

Just sign this, sir. Right here.

Okay, give us a hand here.

Work, work, work.

Hello, boys, have a good night's rest?

I missed you.

Just one more bill for you to sign, sir.

What is this?

This is the bill that will convert

the State Hospital for the Insane...

...into the William J. Le Petomane

Memorial Gambling Casino for the Insane.

Gentlemen, this...

...this bill will be

a giant step forward...

...in the treatment

of the insane gambler.

Yes, bravo! Beautiful.

Thank you, Hedy. Thank you.

It's not Hedy. It's Hedley.

Hedley Lamarr.

What the hell are you worried about?

This is 1874.

You'll be able to sue her.

All right, help me in with this.

Just, ah, think of your secretary.

Ah, that was a very good suggestion.

Okay, is that it? Anything else?

Just this urgent telegram

from Rock Ridge.

It arrived last Friday.

Read it, read it.

"Sheriff murdered. Church meeting

bombed. Reign of terror must cease.

"Send new sheriff immediately. "

Holy underwear!

Sheriff murdered. Innocent women

and children blown to bits!

We've got to protect our

phony-baloney jobs, gentlemen.

We must do something about this

immediately, immediately, immediately!

I didn't get a "hrumph" out of that guy!

Give the governor a "hrumph. "

You watch your ass.

Gentlemen, please, rest your sphincters.

Well put.

As Attorney General, I can assure you...

...that a suitable sheriff will be found

to restore the peace in Rock Ridge.

Meeting is adjourned.

Oh, I am sorry, sir. I didn't mean

to overstep my bounds. You say that.

What?

- Meeting is adjourned.

- It is?

No. You say that, governor.

- What?

- Meeting is adjourned.

It is?

Here, play around with this for a while.

They are sweeping the country.

Why don't you give these out

to some of the boys...

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