Blame It on the Bellboy Page #5

Guess who I met by the frozen fish.

That girl who works in your branch.

Amanda...

Stainrod?

Amanda Stainrod.

"Good heavens, Mrs. Horton,"

she said. "Back already?"

"Back?" I said.

"From Venice," she said, "how was it?"

I'm not going to stand in Sainsbury's

and tell the whole town

that their lord mayor

goes on holiday without his wife.

And that as far as I'm concerned,

he was at conference in Buxton.

Am I?

- "Very nice," I said, "It was very nice."

- Look, Rosemary.

So I went home and I thought,

why should Amanda bloody Stainrod

think that you're in Venice

while I think you're in Buxton?

"Simple, Rosemary," I thought,

"It's another woman."

Rosemary...

What I should be telling

the whole town

is that their lord mayor is away,

doubtless at rate-payers' expense,

having a bit of Adriatic slap and tickle.

Look, Rosemary, you've got it all wrong.

[toilet flushes]

Now, this is going to look odd,

Rosemary.

Oh, hello.

This is my wife, Rosemary.

Hi. Welcome to Venice.

Thank you. I thought you said

your wife was... staying in England.

I thought you didn't want her to know.

Well, the cat's out of the bag now.

Hello, I'm Caroline Wright.

Veni Villas Estate Agency.

Your husband and I... sorry!

His lordship and I were just finalizing

the payment details on a villa.

A villa?

He was keen to get his hands

on at least one of my properties.

Being in his position,

he wanted it kept hush-hush.

He's buying through us because

we guarantee absolute discretion.

Rest assured that I won't tell

anyone what he's been up to.

Maurice... is this true?

I suppose I'd better say my arrivedercis.

So, you'll arrange

for that specified amount?

In cash. Italian lire. Tomorrow.

Like we said.

The keys to Villa Romano will be yours.

I'll call you and we can make a date.

As it were.

Ciao.

Ciao.

Oh, Maurice! I'm sorry!

What a wonderful, wonderful surprise!

It suits you, that shirt.

You're one of those hit men, aren't you?

A killer.

A paid killer.

Like Edward Fox in "Day Of The Jackal."

Why should you want to kill me?

Oh, my God!

Look, it says Medi-Date.

It's a dating agency. You're supposed

to fall in love not get shot at.

- You don't ask questions in my job.

- It's time you started.

I suppose you're going to keep me here.

I know too much.

I know too much?

I don't know anything.

This Maurice Horton. This assassin.

He's gonna die, you know that.

I didn't until you just told me, no.

I'm not interested.

I want to look around a villa.

If I don't, I'm out of a job.

Dead men don't need jobs.

When Maurice Horton dies,

you'll know who killed him.

Well, yes, I do.

Okay. Can't we pretend that I don't?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes