Blame It on the Bellboy Page #4

One minute you want us

to do this business.

Of course I do!

I'm on triple commission.

Last chance. Do you want it?

Well, yes, obviously.

- You'll pay cash?

- Pay?

You can't have it

unless you pay cash.

I've never had to...

All right, but it had better be

pretty special hanky-panky if...

Hanky-panky?

Hang on a minute.

What you're saying is,

you're only going to pay cash...

if I have sex with you?

Yes.

You lechers make me puke!

[Orton wails]

He's down there!

He must have gone this way.

It's all right, really.

Now we've sorted out the muddle

and you're not Maurice,

I can manage, honestly.

Shut up!

You've got his information, he's got

yours. I'll get him to give it to you.

- I'll give it to you.

- I thought you'd say that.

[whimpers]

I'd like to check out.

You've reserved for a week.

Are you sure?

100 percent sure.

Give me the bill, will you?

- Thank you.

- I won't be coming back here...

- S, signore?

- I'd like to check in.

- Are you sure?

- 100 percent sure.

Good girl.

That's the spirit.

Strictly business, right?

Eccoci qua. Signore Orton is here.

- Finally, thank you.

- You're welcome.

There he is. Signore Orton!

Your wife is here.

- That is not my husband.

- He is!

- You're Signore Orton?

- Mike Lawton!

I'm looking for Horton.

Maurice Horton.

Eccoci qua. I'll telephone.

No, take me to his room.

It's a surprise.

Speedboat! Speedboat!

What?

Nothing.

Oh... carry on, tiger.

[growls]

[bell]

[groans and laughs]

Permesso?

Signore Orton. I have a big surprise

for you.

For crying out loud,

that is not my husband.

Is it really that difficult?

Maurice Horton.

Big misunderstood.

Sorry, excuse us.

- Sorry, boys.

- Maurice Horton.

So, what's the form? Do I pay now?

You don't carry that sort of cash?

What sort are we talking about?

How much do you think it's worth?

It's all new to me.

60?

80?

100?

Okay, 100. 100,000 is about right.

100,000? No, I was talking pounds.

Well, so am I. 100,000.

What?

Are you deaf as well as debauched?

Watch my mouth. 100,000.

100,000 for a bit of rumpy-pumpy?

Hor...

Hor...

Horto...

Hort... Horto...

Horton!

What the hell is Medi-Date?

What the hell are Veni Villas?

Hor... Hor...

Hor... Hor...

Horton.

I live in England.

What do I want a villa in Venice for?

Look. I wouldn't let you

screw me for nothing.

[knock at door]

I'm afraid you just did, sweetheart.

Hor...

- Horton.

- Yes.

- Horton. With a H?

- Yes.

- I have a big surprise.

- Look... Rosemary!

Maurice.

Thank you.

You've been a great help.

What on earth are you wearing?

What are you doing here, Rosemary?

What do you think

I am doing here, darling?

I was shopping in Sainsbury's.

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