Blades Of Glory Page #6

If you're here to thank me for firing

Chazz Michaels, it was my pleasure.

Chazz was here?

Yeah, unfortunately,

but it's fantastic that you're here.

And yes, no need to ask,

I'll consider you for a position.

I'm not looking for a job.

I'm actually looking for a female skater

to compete with me at Nationals.

- Are you trying to skater poach?

- No.

You trying to break up my family?

Why don't you get out of here

before I throw down?

Hey, where you going?

Michaels.

MacElroy.

I see you got fat.

I see you still look

like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.

You crushed my dreams.

Dreams? Sh*t.

I haven't had one of those in years.

Zip it, Chazz. Zip it or I will punch you

in your crap lousy face.

This ends tonight.

It's daytime, you douche.

- Now it's on!

- You're so fat!

Local figure skating fans got more than

they bargained for today

when a children's ice show

was interrupted by a street fight

between two former champions.

Jimmy MacElroy

and Chazz Michael Michaels,

once at the top of the skating world,

picked up today where they left off

more than three years...

(REWINDING)

Fans remember Michaels and MacElroy

as gold medalists who,

in a bizarre turn of events,

became banned from competition

for life.

I had a chance to sit down

with Michaels

and let's just say, he's a complex man.

I'm a sex addict

and I'm attracted to women.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Two men skating together?

That's a riot. That's a laugh riot.

- I don't see what's so funny.

- If you were as drunk as me, you would.

Look, Coach, I know I said

I wanted to skate pairs, but two men?

Even if we wanted to,

they'd never allow it.

But there's nothing in the rule book

that says you can't.

That's not my style.

Chazz Michael Michaels goes it alone.

Okay?

That means no coach and no partner.

Especially not a dude.

Especially not the precious

and pampered Richie Rich.

Would you just shut up? You don't know

what you're talking about.

I know more than you think I know.

Hell, I know more than you know

you know.

No, you don't. You could never keep up

with my flawless technique.

That's why I floored you in '02

and the spring of '99.

Technique doesn't get you 18 medals

and a Kristi Yamaguchi

Lifetime Achievement Award.

- I am figure skating.

- Stop it!

For three years I've been trying to get

over the nightmare you two created.

I wasn't sure I'd ever forget it.

Now maybe underneath all your bullshit,

we can still find something beautiful.

I don't know, Coach.

I mean, I'm really desperate

to win that gold, but...

But what?

How's the partner search coming, kid?

What's so funny, Cool Whip?

You getting a lot of satisfaction

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