Black Knight Page #3

Synopsis: This is the story an amusement park employee named Jamal Walker who is magically transported back to medieval times in 14th-century England. There, Jamal meets Sir Knolte, a dissolute knight, before he stumbles into the court of the usurper King Leo. Jamal is impressed by what he thinks is the realism of the theme park; only after witnessing a gory beheading does he realize, with horror, where he really is. Jamal encounters the beautiful Victoria who is scheming to return the queen to the throne, and falls afoul of the evil Sir Percival. Joining forces with Sir Knolte and Victoria, Jamal teaches the rebels some helpful football, golfing, and boxing moves, before he dons the armor of the awesome "Black Knight"!
Director(s): Gil Junger
Production: 20th Century Fox
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.8
Metacritic:
32
Rotten Tomatoes:
14%
PG-13
Year:
2001
95 min
$33,327,325
Website
1,558 Views


When will the duke arrive

to take my daughter's hand?

This is a hell of a setup you got here.

I mean, I'm not lyin'. I mean, whoo!

You got to have major coins behind this.

Who's backin' you - Puffy?

Silence, Moor! Tell me,

when will the duke arrive?

Oh, I get it. You wanna see if I can improve.

OK, well, let's see...

The duke will arriveth...

In all his royal pomposity

and splendor on Tuesday.

Tuesday! Ha. That is excellent news.

Ah. Phillip, have the servants ply this

messenger with much food and drink.

And let him lay with any damsel he desires.

Except my daughter, of course.

Can I get a ride back to town?

Oh, an excellent idea.

Phillip, show our guest the grounds.

Allow him rest, and then

we shall ride, and ride we shall.

Oh, ho, ho! This is funky!

Hey, oh!

Y'all got the little cutout

thing like the castles for real.

Hey, how you doin', Miss Darlin'?

Hey, look here.

I'm in the presidential suite. Uh-Huh.

Yeah! Oh, so, I get it.

This is like a theme park and a hotel, right?

Sire?

Y'all got the real brick.

None of that fake stuff, huh?

Oh, man! Oh, man!

Hey, I need to use your bathroom.

Bathroom? What is that, I pray thee?

I gotta drain the...

you know, drain the anaconda.

Ah, the privy.

Yeah. Appreciate it.

Oh, got to go! Got to... Whoo!

Oh!

Oh, damn!

Seriously, you think you're gonna

charge people money to stay here

And wipe their ass with straw?

Ain't gonna happen.

There's doo-Doo on top of the...

Tell me you don't see that sh*t!

And I mean that literally!

Where's the Texaco?

Texaco?

What's happenin'? Where y'all goin'?

To the beheading.

They're executing the leader of the rebellion.

Y'all went all-Out. Y'all got the...

You said, say what?

They're executing the leader of the rebellion.

Oh, that should be live. Let's check it out.

Remember that little honey I was hollerin' at?

Out the window?

Yeah, yes, yeah!

Hey, that's tight!

Long live our deposed queen!

Power to the people!

Sorry, I didn't mean

to interrupt your rehearsal.

Please, proceed, proceed.

Y'all got a head that comes off?

A neck that spurts blood?

Look at the head.

How do they make it look so real?

Oh, because it is real.

You have to calm yourself.

Calm myself?

I was just holdin' a human head!

You'd think you've never seen an execution.

Not lately!

Wait, uh...

OK, all right. What day is it?

Is it Sunday the 5th?

Yes, messenger, I believe it is.

2001?

Two?

It is the Year of our Lord, 1328.

Argh!

The date frightens you?

You think it don't when it does! Oh!

I didn't mean...

OK, let me calm... Let me just relax.

That's what... a seat. It's a...

All right, is this how you use the chair?

OK, cos I don't really know if you should go...

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Darryl Quarles

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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