Billy Liar Page #5

- Naff off, Stamp.

Hey, no writing mucky words

on the wall.

Look, get lost, will you?

Bet you're reading a mucky book.

Bet you are,

reading a mucky book.

"His hand caressed her silken knee".

Haven't you any work to do, Stamp?

Waiting to go into the toilet,

Mr. Shadrack.

Some of you

spend too much time down here.

Far too much time.

Better go up to the office.

I've got to go out.

Is that you, Mr. Shadrack?

Is that you, Mr. Shadrack?

Yes. There's someone

waiting to come in there.

I was wondering if I could have

a word with you before you go out.

Eh?

I was wondering if I could have

a word before you go out.

Yes, I've been thinking

it's about time we had a little talk.

I haven't got time now, Fisher.

See me at lunchtime.

Very good, Mr. Shadrack.

Good morning, Mr. Duxbury.

It's Councillor Duxbury, Fisher.

Councillor Duxbury, that's my title.

You wouldn't call Lord Harewood "Mr.,"

would you?

Councillor. Now think on.

- "It's Councillor Duxbury, Fisher".

- "Aye".

- "Councillor, that's my title".

- Billy!

- "Aye".

- "Aye".

- I'll see you round the corner.

- Yeah.

- Hello, darling.

- Hello, pet.

Where are you taking me for coffee?

I have to go

to the town planning office.

- They're pulling all this down.

- Oh.

Sometimes I think

you're avoiding me, Billy.

- Why?

- We are supposed to be engaged.

- Of course we're engaged.

- Have you told your mother and father?

We'll announce it

when you come for your tea tomorrow.

All right.

- It's a lovely ring, isn't it?

- Mmm, it's lovely.

You don't think

it needs altering or anything?

- No, no, it's just right.

- Well, suit yourself.

I must dash, darling. Bit of a hurry.

- See you later.

- Yes, bye, pet.

- Well, where's that ring?

- That's just it, Rita.

I've been to the jeweler's

and it's not ready.

You'd better get it back quick,

else there'll be trouble.

- Hey, Rita.

- Yeah?

- Four cheeseburgers ready.

- Four cheeseburgers, love.

- Dream about me while I'm gone.

- Sure thing, baby.

- What's she on about?

- The engagement ring.

What engagement ring? I thought

you were engaged to Barbara.

That's just the point. I am.

She had it first, Rita.

I got it off her to give to Barbara.

Now she wants it back.

- Rita?

- Yeah.

I told her

it was getting the stone fixed.

- Be hell to pay if she don't get it.

- I can't keep up with your sex life.

You know what's going to happen?

You're going to be up for bigamy.

So when's it going to be ready, then?

I'm very glad you asked me that

cos when I called round at the shop

the man told me

it might take another week.

- Oh, it might be another week.

- They've got three people off ill.

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