Big Ass Spider Page #5

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It's already hunting.

Granted the patient's immobility

indicates an advantageous access,

like a buzzard selecting wounded prey. It

will get the hang of the kill quickly.

How long has it been?

Blood coagulation fresh. Ten, maybe

twelve minutes. It is close.

How big do you think

it is now, Doctor?

It has quadrupled in size.

Qua... in 24 hours?

It will continue to grow

exponentially. Four

hours from now it

will quadruple again.

Where are you, friend?

Where are you, buddy? Come on, buddy.

The Ex has

a treat for you. I got a...

a treat for you.

(INTO RADIO):
U.S. to Mexico. U.S.

to Mexico. Jose, it's Alex.

KARLY (INTO RADIO): Copy that.

I think I found our spider. I'm down in the

basement, buddy. Down in the basement.

[HE KNOCKS ON SOMETHING]

Okay.

Where are- [BEER CAN CLATTERS]

There you are, little buddy.

Wow, you're not such a...

such a little guy, are you.

All right, I've got

something for you.

I got something for you. Nice and shiny.

You're going to like this. Ready?

[ALEX GASPS]

That's my quarter. Give

me back my quarter!

Oh, no you don't. Not this time.

You gonna run from me?

Ah, come on, buddy.

Get down!

What, are you trying to kill me? Hey,

they said I could be here. What are you-

Hi.

Was that the only one?

The only what? Spider?

Uh, yeah, I hope so.

Shh-shh-

[METAL CLANGS]

What?

Oh, great, it's gone.

Yeah, nice job, moron.

Made visual contact.

Moron?

Target it now in the sewer system.

Prepare to move out.

Moron?

I'm bringing an eye witness

in for questioning.

Hey, I had this thing bagged until

you started shooting at me.

No.

Shooting at me.

Okay, you've got no idea

what you're dealing with.

Uh, excuse me.

Sorry. Sorry.

I'm a professional.

Oh, I see. I see. Of course you are.

And, hey, nice uniform.

Thank you very much.

Now, move out.

That was sarcastic.

Move out.

Are you feeling something?

'Cause-

Head out.

Stuck.

[HOMELESS MAN SCREAMING]

Did you ever see the arachnid?

I don't know what that is.

Did you say Iraq?

Arachnid.

I like your pipe.

Major, here he is, a local exterminator.

Uh, Alex.

Alex Mathis, actually. It's

pest eradication specialist.

All kinds of pests,

rodents, reptiles.

All I want from you,

Mr. Mathis, is details.

Tell me what you saw down there.

Hey, there he is.

Hey, how you doing?

What's up, Jose?

In concise sentences, please.

Okay, can I sit down? It's

been one hell of a morning.

Yeah, we're going

to sit down, okay?

You want details?

This thing's huge.

This is the biggest spider that I've ever

seen, maybe the biggest spider on record,

and from the look of the bite

that it gave that mortician,

I'd say this thing is highly

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