Bicentennial Man Page #4

able to be?

Well, I don't know.

See, people grow

through time.

But then, of course, for you, time

is a completely different proposition.

-For you, time is endless.

-Endless?

[Chuckles]

-Is this a good piece?

-Very.

[Gulls Cawing]

-What about this one?

-Excellent.

[Tapping]

It was

a lucky April shower

It was

the most convenient door

I found

a million-dollar baby

In a five and ten cent

store

[Continues]

[Richard]

And, nine months later,

a baby is born.

And those, Andrew,

are the so-called facts of life.

People actually do this,

sir?

-Well, yes.

-And married people--

one supposes they see it

as some kind of requirement

or obligation.

Well, it--

[Clears Throat]

-it's not exactly

an obligation, Andrew.

-That's a relief.

And it is the natural

and preferable way to conceive children.

Sir, of all these millions

of sperm, only one makes it?

-That's true.

-What happens to the others?

Well, they die.

They die?

One feels badly for them.

Well, one does.

-But it's completely agreed

that it feels good--

-For both parties, sir?

In an ideal world.

-So people do it rather frequently.

-How often, sir?

-Well, as often as they can,

matter of fact.

-Ahh.

At least at first.

Sir,

-may one speak frankly with you?

-As always, Andrew.

It's just

that the whole process--

it sounds so messy.

I think

that's a fair comment.

They die.

[Richard Speaking,

Indistinct]

[Talking, Laughing Continue]

-Isn't it?

-[Giggling] What?

-[Richard] lt's called "humor."

-"Humor"?

Yes. People tell jokes

to make each other laugh.

And this laughter gives

pleasure, sir?

Yes.

Sir, could you teach one

to tell a joke?

Well, I-let's see. Um--

Two drunks walk into a bar.

Wouldn't two drunks walk

out of a bar, sir?

You walk into a bar to drink,

and you come out drunk.

Let's try something simpler, Andrew.

Um--[Clears Throat]

-Knock-knock.

-"Knock-knock"?

No, knock-knock,

someone's at the door.

-Shall one get it, sir?

-No, no. No.

Y-You say, "who's there,"

Andrew.

-Who's there, Andrew?

-No, just "Who's there?"

One does not know, sir.

Let's start with something

a little simpler, Andrew.

Why did the chicken

cross the road?

One does not know, sir.

Possibly a predator was

behind the chicken.

Or, possibly, there was

a female chicken on the other

side, if it's a male chicken.

Or possibly a food source

or, depending on the season,

it might be migrating.

One hopes there's no traffic.

To get to the other side.

"To get to the other side."

Ohhh.

Why is that funny?

-So, what do you kids have

planned for the day?

-Probably stick with Andrew.

-What about you, Miss?

-I'm gonna go play

at my friend Natalie's house.

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