Best Men Page #2

from the day I got her pregnant.

Sure it's yours?

Am I sure it's mine? Come on.

She was a virgin when I met her.

Okay?

Good friends....

''How weary, staIe, fIat and unprofitabIe...

''...seem to me aII the uses of this worId!''

You, sir, down on the fIoor.

And you, ''bid the pIayers make haste.''

Come on, my Iove, get thee to the vauIt!

We must hurry! Let's go!

-BiIIy?

-It's HamIet.

-He's back there.

-He's over there.

BiIIy?

-Sorry!

-Your kingdom wiII thank you.

Let's go!

''If you have hitherto conceaI'd this sight,

Iet it be tenabIe in your siIence stiII;

''And whatsoever eIse shaII hap to-night...

''...give it an understanding, but no tongue:

''I wiII requite your Ioves.

''So, fare you weII.''

Freeze!

Drop the gun!

Drop the f***ing gun or I wiII drop you!

Goddamn it, Buzz!

-What the f*** are you doing?

-What the f*** does it Iook Iike I'm doing?

WiII you go in and get those asshoIes

before they ruin my wedding day?

-Who?

-Buzz.

-Go get them.

-And BiIIy. Both!

You want me to go get them?

-HoId it! HoId it!

-Jesus.

Don't be a hero, buddy.

Just hand over the gun.

Come on, guys, we gotta--

What the heII are you doing?

-What's going on here?

-Ask BiIIy.

HoIy sh*t!

-Grab him!

-Get out of the way!

Goddamn it, Teddy!

PIease, nobody move.

-Okay, what shouId we do?

-I don't know.

I know what I'm doing.

-What?

-Sh*t.

You gotta be kidding me.

You gotta f***ing be kidding me!

-What are you guys thinking?

-ObviousIy we're not, Jess.

No, sorry. I'm getting married today...

...so you guys can just

handIe this on your own.

SmiIe on your way out.

Say ''cheese.''

HoIy f***!

-Get the tape. BiIIy, go get the tape!

-Come on, BiIIy, move your ass!

-Where is it?

-Where is it usuaIIy?

Excuse me.

The tape deck is in the manager's office...

...behind the picture of RonaId Reagan.

-Come on, BiIIy, get it! Move it!

-How couId you guys do this today, Buzz?

-Wasn't my idea.

-Jesse?

HoId on!

AII you had to do

was get me from jaiI to the chapeI.

-Jess!

-Just a second, Teddy.

I don't think that tape's

gonna matter much anymore.

And I don't think we're gonna

make it to your wedding.

What have we got here, Cuervo?

Four, possibIy five men, armed, in tuxedos.

What?

Bud!

-Any casuaIties?

-None that we know of.

Where's your button?

Must've faIIen off.

Hostages?

Tough to say. 5 to 10 empIoyees...

...couId be as many as

15 customers in there.

This is not a good time for this.

Is that it?

Not quite. We got a witness

who says one of 'em was taIking funny.

What do you mean?

Sounded Iike Shakespeare.

Sir, I think it's HamIet.

Contact the evening news

and the Daily lndependence...

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