Bedazzled Page #5

Yeah! That's not what I wished for.

Hold on now, mister. You wished

that the two of you were married.

You didn't say anything about her

loving you.

You know, when two people get

married I assume that--

There's your mistake.

-May I suggest something?

-What?

Rich and powerful

wasn't really the way to go.

Everyone wishes for that,

and it never pans out.

-Really?

-The fact of the matter is...

...women aren't really attracted

to wealth and power.

-They're not?

-No, of course not.

They couldn't give

a fig for all that rubbish.

What you need to figure out is

what she wants in a man.

How do I find that out?

Easy.

I'm not with her!

Where are we?

A place you never would have seen

without my help. Alison's bedroom.

We can't be in here.

This is breaking and entering.

I know.

It's fun, isn't it?

I'm sure we're gonna find the answer

somewhere around here.

What if Alison catches us?

Don't worry.

She won't be able to see you.

Besides...

...she's in the shower.

Naked.

Right behind that door.

Go on, go ahead.

Take a peep.

No!

Oh, come on.

We both know you want to.

You must think I'm

really perverted, don't you?

You think I'm a sad, desperate,

twisted, pathetic loser.

Yes.

In that case,

I'll take a quick look.

Focus, Elliot.

Remember, we're here to find out

what kind of man she wants.

How do we do that?

Well, she keeps a journal.

And here it is!

I'll find some information

here that you'll find useful.

Hey, that's private stuff.

Is it ever!

Listen to this.

" Last night was the most

incredible night of my life.

I never did find out any of the guys'

names, but I brought them here...

...and all five banged me

like a Salvation Army drum."

What?

-Give me that!

-Just kidding.

I could have been a writer.

She could bump into you

and she wouldn't feel it.

Now this is good.

" I meet many attractive men

who are interested in me and...

...while many of them are handsome

or clever or very successful...

...I find myself turning away

from them and...

...searching the horizon

for someone else.

I don't know who he is or where

I'll find him. I only know...

...that he is a sensitive man.

He's a man who's in touch

with his emotions.

He's a man who's not afraid

to share his fears...

...his disappointments and his tears.

'Where are you, my sensitive man?'"

Did you see that?

She passed right through me.

We were one person for a split second.

Just like in Ghost!

I've got an earthquake

in eight minutes.

Any chance of making a wish here?

Yes.

I wish I were the most sensitive

man in the world.

Right. Okay.

Wait!

I wish I were the most emotionally

sensitive man in the world.

I was hoping you wouldn't catch that.

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