Bedazzled Page #3

And to think that I doubted you!

I'm gonna go now.

Well, what's the problem?

This doesn't prove anything!

I could have done this myself.

I even had to pay.

No such thing as a free lunch.

Didn't anyone ever tell you that?

I didn't even get fries.

I don't believe this. I'm offering

you the opportunity of a lifetime...

...and all you can do is moan

about French fries?

-Good night.

-Oh, fine! Okay.

I'm not getting through to you,

so let's just forget it.

Come on, I'll give you

a lift back to your car.

That's your car?

-It's him!

-It's Elliot!

Elliot, right here.

I love you, Elliot!

Where are we?

Just a little after-hours club I own.

We'd better get in there.

Everyone's waiting for you.

Everyone who?

All your friends.

How you doing, Mr. Richards?

Elliot, one picture!

-Hey! Hey, Elliot!

-No way! This is your club?

It sure is.

Yeah, baby!

-Hello, Elliot.

-Hello.

-Elliot, dance with me.

-No, dance with me.

No, he's gonna dance with me first.

Okay, girls, break it up.

He belongs to me.

How the hell are you?

Somebody take a picture of us.

-Hold it!

-Excellent.

I think she likes you too.

-Are you hungry?

-Uh-huh. Sort of.

-Look.

-Wow!

These look just like my grandma's.

-Try one.

-Okay.

These are my grandma's cookies!

I aim to please, handsome. Come on.

How did you--?

-You liked that, didn't you?

-What, the cookie?

Those people excited to see you.

It's nice to feel accepted, isn't it?

I can give you that.

I can make the whole world love you.

-Come on!

-You still don't believe me, do you?

Of course not!

First of all,

you look nothing like the Devil.

Oh, really? I suppose I could

have gone this way.

But it's so trick-or-treat.

It's true!

You really are the Devil!

Oh, come on, baby.

Come and sit down.

I know this has all been

horribly overwhelming for you.

-Can I ask you a question?

-Sure you can.

Ask me anything.

Just don't ask if there's a God.

I get that one all the time.

It drives me absolutely bonkers.

Yes, there's a God.

Really? Well, what's He like?

You'd think meeting me

would be interesting enough...

...but all they want to know about is

Him! Like He's so bloody fascinating.

-So He's a man?

-Yeah.

Most men think they're God.

This one just happens to be right.

Now listen, darling.

I don't want to pressure you...

...but why don't we take

a teensy look at the contract?

" l, Elliot Richards, hereafter

known as 'the Damned'"

-" The Damned" ?

-How about " the Darned" ? Better?

Don't get hung up on the language.

There's nothing sinister here.

It's all standard boilerplate.

Paragraph one states that " l,

the Devil...

...a non-profit corporation, with

offices in Purgatory, Hell and L.A...

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