Beautiful Page #4

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Now I don't know what the hell

I'm going to do.

I always loved the circus,

didn't you, Mona?

Yes, Mrs. Stillwell.

I think I'll join it.

- Stop this.

- It's over.

Listen to me.

I will figure it out.

We've made it through a lot of stuff,

and we'll make it through this.

Do you remember when

Verna Chickles accused you...

of cutting the rear end out

of Kelly Megan's swimsuit...

in the Miss Tiny Little Darling

Princess pageant?

You thought your career

was over then...

and it wasn't.

So we're gonna make it

through this, okay?

Now let me see that smile.

Let me see it.

Nope. That's not the one

I wanna see.

I wanna see

that Miss American Miss smile.

There it is.

That's it. That's the one

I was looking for.

Mother.

Mother!

Mom?

Mom.

Mom!

Mother!

Mom, I gotta go! Now!

- Wait, sweetie.

- The winner...

- Your Aunt Mona's up there. See?

- Miss Illinois for 2000...

Yeah, I see,

but I still got to pee.

to represent Illinois

at the Miss American Miss pageant...

to represent Illinois

at the Miss American Miss pageant...

later this year is...

Miss Dupage County,

Mona Hibbard!

Oh, my God!

She did it. She won.

I'm sorry. Did I poke you?

Look, sweetie,

she's being crowned Miss Illinois.

Congratulations, Mona.

What a surprise, huh?

How many judges did you do

to win this pageant?

Everyone except your daddy.

His dick was too small.

Isn't she lovely,

ladies and gentlemen?

Twenty-six-year-old Miss Dupage County,

Mona Hibbard!

Thank you. I can't believe this.

Would you stop? Your face

is gonna get stuck like that.

Vanessa, sweetheart,

eat your dinner.

Put the crown on her head.

Every little girl

wants to be a beauty queen.

Not me. I want to be

a professional soccer player.

Get this thing off me.

- Ruby, make her put it on.

- Leave it on, Vanessa.

It's like mine.

It's sweet. Let me see.

Just look at me.

It's cute.

You know what?

I bet Grandma's smiling

down from heaven right now.

- I wish she could have been here.

- I know.

So my mom never showed, did she?

I didn't see her.

No one gives a sh*t about the state

thing, but it counts in the big one.

When they cut to the family in that

little box on the side of the screen...

she's got to be there.

Your mother's got

to get in a little box?

99.9% of all Miss American Misses

had their parents in the audience...

except Brianna Donna Macomb,

1 97 1 , remember?

She was an orphan.

- The interview went really well.

- Did it?

They especially liked the part

where I got choked up and said...

good parenting begins at home--

What is your problem?

Aren't you ever going

to take that stuff off?

Everyone's staring at you.

Yeah, because I'm pretty.

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