Bearcity Page #3

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talking so that he can start.

Oh, I f***ing hate people like that.

I know but he was.. I don't blame him,

he was pissed you know.

Yeah.

We were supposed to be moving into

this two-bedroom apartment with him

and this twink. I could not picture

myself spending another yearjerking

off to bear porn because I'm too

afraid to bring a real guy home. Plus

when you're in Chelsea, if your waist

size is over 36 the Chelsea police

turn your ass around at 23rd street

and send you packing back to Hell's

Kitchen.

Isn't Hell's Kitchen getting just as

bad. Aren't they calling it Helsea?

Oh, watch the curb.

Oh sh*t.

It's not tough enough, It's like

admitting that you..

Oh, sh*t. I'm sorry dude.

...admitting that you know you like

bears is like is like coming out of

the closet twice.

I know. It's one thing to say you

think Brad Pitt's hot, but try saying

you want a mouthful of John Goodman.

Exactly. Like the other day I even had

a dream that I was having sex with a

guy in a santa Claus outfit and simon

walked in and caught us.

Ohh. Did he stuff your stocking?

Yes. santa comes more than once

a year in my dreams.

No joke, no joke. Michael's boyfriend

Carlos had a department store santa as

a fuckbuddy - hooked us up with a

thirty percent discount.

Wow. Friends with below retail

benefits. God, I love it!

Uh, I think I'm done. Umm. It's mostly

everything. so, I can take it from

here if you wanna head up.

OK, I'm going to wake up sleeping

booty and see if I can't get some...

All this fantasy talk has made me

kinda horny.

Me, too.

Hey! There's still some room!

Uhh. There's a few more things that

I umm..I'm sorry.

I uh.. just jokin'!

You have no idea. Truck stop was off

the hook. It was outrageous. They have

this huge, huge hot tub.

That's Ted and the glam bears.

Umm, glam bears... define.

Nay. They're actually muscle bears.

It's just what I call guys like that.

They make me feel insecure because

they have perfect bodies, perfect

boots, perfect beards and all that.

Woof.

Oh, barf.

Wow, uh jaded cappuccino with a

double shot of hate and despair.

You. Make that up all by yourself?

It's an original piece that

I'm working on.

Is it? Is it really?

No, but seriously, Brent. Thank you,

very much.

It's really appreciated,

I need this job.

Oh well, the job sucks. Don't worry

about that,

but the eye candy is compensation.

I'll say - hard candy by

the looks of it.

Oh, no, no, that's Robbie. We call her

Ruby because of the slippers that will

fall out her mouth when she speaks.

Hey, lover!

Girl!

Hunny, you look fabulous. Do a little

twirl, so I can take a look at ya!

Uh huh. Like the wig?

Uh..

Can I have a search party sent out for

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