Batman and Harley Quinn Page #5

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Here, there's a little trick to it.

Hey, watch the hands, Buster Brown!

Sorry, I was just...

Jeez, 20 minutes of naughty fun-time

and they think they own you.

I wasn't... I was just trying to...

Look, maybe I'll call you sometime, okay?

Like, when I'm

outta batteries or something.

(ENGINE ROARING)

BATMAN:
Based on Goldblum's

area of expertise,

Woodrue and lvy's ideological profiles,

and the S.T.A.R. Labs break-in,

there's only one conclusion.

They're going to synthesize the formula

that created Swamp Thing,

convert it into a fast-spreading virus

and save the world

by turning humanity

into animal/plant hybrids.

What! EW!

Look, don't get me wrong,

I ain't no racist.

I mean, some of

my best friends are plant people.

Well, on the bright side, at least

they aren't actually killing anyone.

Perhaps not intentionally.

Here we go.

It's bad enough if they succeed

and we all live as plant people.

But that's not even

the worst-case scenario.

If any part of their plan is off

even a slight bit, within weeks,

days, maybe...

We could be looking at

the extinction of all life on the planet.

'Keepers.

But wait a minute,

why do they need the Holland formula?

Why not just

make the virus from themselves?

It's a shortcut.

Reverse-engineering their own DNA

could take years, maybe decades.

Neither of them

was ever fully human to begin with.

She's a natural mutation

and he's an exiled dryad

from another dimension.

"Exiled dryad from..." You're shittin' me!

We've seen weirder things.

Harley, we just need you

to help us find Ivy. That's all.

- We'll handle the rest.

- No problem.

I know this guy,

one of lvy's top henchmen,

probably still tight with her.

And he's... Oh, my God! Stop the car!

- No.

- But it's him!

"Who?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Hey, you! Bobby Liebowitz!

Oh, crap!

Harley, wait!

(CAR HONKING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

- (TIRES SCREECH)

- (CRASHING)

(HARLEY EXCLAIMS)

(GRUNTS)

(PANTING)

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

(WHIMPERS)

(YELLS)

Lousy, stinkin'...

- Stands me up for senior prom!

- (GRUNTING)

That's enough.

Dumps me for that shiksa with the big...

- Sorry, she's off her meds.

- Won't happen again.

(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

But seriously, dude.

Sounds like you kinda had it coming.

Made my mother cry!

Was she worth it, douchebag?

Waited 1 O years to get that...

I was just...

But...

He...

Pull a stupid stunt like that again

and I'm dumping you off

at the nearest police station.

Oh, big whoop.

(IN A DEEP VOICE) "You're livin' under

my roof. You play by my rules."

(NORMAL VOICE) Is that it?

Newsflash, gruesome, you ain't my dad!

This isn't a game, Harley!

I need you to

stay focused on the job at hand.

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