Barbershop Page #3

- What are you singin' at?

- Mind your business.

Here come Jumbo Mutumbo.

Where I come from,

to have girth is a sign of opulence.

- What'd he just say?

- In Africa, fat people got loot.

- I heard they circumcise the women, too.

- How?

Anything that's extra, they just clip it off.

- A'ight, fellers, I'm free. Who's next?

- Not me.

Not me.

- I'm cool.

- Forget you.

Thought you had

a Negro membership card, huh?

Shut up. Calvin wouldn't gimme

a chair if I couldn't cut hair.

Three days, front chair, no customers.

Cut that noise. Everybody starts out in

the first chair. That's where you started.

Listen up. I don't want no trouble.

Give me your wallet and your jewellery,

and there won't be no problems.

Don't you make me.

You one of them rappers?

You got a Rolex? A platinum chain?

- Eddie.

- What?

Leave them boys alone.

Sit your old ass down.

See him? That boy almost turned over the

money. You all right, brother. You all right.

He was shaking like booty meat,

wasn't he? I had him.

I had him shaking like Don Knotts.

We tryin' to raise money for Johnnie

Brown's shoes. Scout will be here.

I need $20. $20, give it up.

Just give it up. Come on.

You smell good. Is that Obsession?

Five minutes.

Hey, man. Where you goin'?

You see that attitude?

She can't cut my hair like that.

- It's OK. I'm free. I'll cut your hair.

- No. I'm straight.

Who drank my apple juice?

- Y'all don't hear me?

- Hey.

- Who drank my goddamn apple juice?

- Terri.

- Stop cussin'. This ain't Def Comedy Jam.

- I put a big-ass red...

Terri. Stop cussin'.

I put a big red sign that said

"Do not drink me."

Maybe no one drank it.

Maybe it evaporated.

Maybe I'm about to slap you. Don't get

on my bad side. You been here a minute...

It ain't like a bottle of Hennessey.

This is funky-ass apple juice.

This is my funky-ass apple juice.

I don't touch nobody else's stuff.

- Terri.

- What?

Jimmy drank your apple juice.

- Hold up.

- Why'd you touch my juice?

You touched my apple juice?

- Did you see me drink it?

- You asked about it.

- Do you have the ocular proof?

- Ocular?

- I said I didn't have to see you.

- Sh*t.

- What did you see?

- Say you ain't drink it.

Knock his college ass out.

Hey, hey. C'mon.

No, Calvin. Let 'em go.

This ain't the projects.

It's a place of business.

Your father wouldn't

put up with this mess.

Checker Fred, just play checkers.

Do I look like my father?

Yeah.

Pretty much. In the nose, here.

- DVDs, CDs.

- Not today, man.

Whatever you want.

Got that new DMX, baby.

- Go now. Go.

- You always puttin' somebody out.

Look, it's a possibility that Jimmy drank

your apple juice. A small possibility.

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