Barbershop: The Next Cut Page #4

Keep putting in work.

You know, that's how you

get to the big leagues,

like D-Rose and D-Wade.

Y'all need anything though?

Y'all straight?

We cool.

I got somethin'

for y'all, man.

I know how it be, being

a little homie. You know?

I know y'all cool,

be cooler.

Ben Frank style.

Gotta keep the little homies

fresh, you feel me?

Yo, thanks, Yummy.

Y'all gonna be family

soon anyway, right?

-Fo' sho?

-Yeah.

There's a lot more

where that came from.

So get used to it.

All right, Yummy.

I'll holler at you, J.

All right.

Yo!

Girl, keep the change.

You like it?

Damn, I see you getting

that chop over there, girl.

Yes, I am.

How much you charge

for them weaves?

Well, it depends. 'Cause

if you wanna be basic ass

No, No, No

Destiny's Child Beyonce,

that's gonna cost

you, like, $200.

If you wanna be like,

you know, Cater 2 U Beyonce,

that's gonna cost

you, like, $600.

And if you wanna be

Beyonce featuring Jay Z...

Boom, boom.

That's gonna cost

you, like, a stack.

I can't believe y'all spend all

that money on weaves anyway.

Next thing you know,

you gonna be just

high-jacking and robbing

Puerto Ricans for their hair.

Eddie, the only hair getting

stolen around here is Indian hair.

It's lush, it's beautiful, and it's infused

with coconut oil right out the womb, okay?

That's why

all y'all want it.

Man, I can't believe y'all put

all that money on your heads,

and then don't be having

no money for your rent.

Excuse you, this is

how I pay my rent.

Exactly.

'Cause with this hair

and this booty,

it's like walking around

with a black AmEx.

And I never get denied.

I bet you don't.

Y'all in here complaining

about our weaves,

but y'all negroes

know good and well

that you'd drop-kick Lupita

to get to Kim Kardashian.

Even the non-negroes.

Especially the non...

Can I say negroes?

Carefully, very carefully.

Say it slow so we can

hear all the syllables.

Just be remorseful

when you say it.

Cool. Negroes.

As the only non-negro

in the room, I'd like to say,

Lupita's got a Dark Caesar,

and it's one of my

most requested cuts.

Lupita?

Man, don't nobody want no

bald head chick in real life.

Even Kanye got rid of Amber

for Kim's sexy ass.

Every day, y'all

here complaining

about fake weaves

and fake asses,

but all the girls that you like

on Instagram have exactly that.

Fake weaves

and fake asses.

-No offense, Draya.

-None taken, girl.

We winning and y'all ain't.

I mean, but that's what dudes

want, they want that fantasy.

Yeah, a fantasy that you still

expect us real women to live up to.

What? Men are visual,

all right? What's the problem?

And women aren't?

I mean, you don't think we want some

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes