Barbershop: The Next Cut

Yes, sir, it's Cayman Kelly

stretching and yawning,

and wishing you

a good morning!

Right now, it's about

55 degrees and cloudy,

and I want everybody

to have a blessed day

and do what you can

to love yourself

and love one another.

Peace, Chicago. Let's do this!

Dear Chicago,

the world knows you as the

birthplace of the skyscraper,

deep dish pizza,

Don Cornelius,

Kanye West,

and the home

of the Cubs, Bulls,

and undisputed queen

of daytime television,

Oprah.

BARBERSHOP THE NEXT CU -And of course, yours truly.

BARBERSHOP THE NEXT CU -But to me, you're much more than that.

-You're the place that raised me,

-the place I call home.

And I'll never forget

what you gave me.

My first kiss,

with mean-ass Shonda Wilkins.

My first fight...

And first ass-whooping

from Boobie Monroe.

And of course, my first love,

my wife, Jennifer,

who gave me the greatest gift

a man could ever ask for...

My son, Jalen Palmer.

Yeah.

You know how we do.

South Side Chicago, baby!

South Side, baby. Yes,

sir, 79th Street all day.

-Yes, sir.

-It don't stop.

I just wanna say

thank you.

For what?

For introducing me

to Rashad.

Y'all gonna be

divorced in a minute.

No, I'm just

playing with you.

Not to mention,

lifelong friendship

and family.

And the birth of a new era.

Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

So I hope you know

it's out of love

that I say this.

But recently,

things ain't been the same

between me and you.

Lately, you've been

out of control.

At least 24 people

were shot and injured.

Police believe most shootings

were gang-related.

And I'm not

the only one

that feels this way, Chicago.

We've just gone to a new low.

When you now...

There used to be a day

when there was a code.

You didn't kill children.

You didn't kill mothers.

You didn't kill grandmothers.

There is no boundary.

Children are dying

in the street.

We

Have to the violence.

The streets

are talking.

They're tired.

They're angry.

WBBM news time, 6:32.

Violence on Chicago's streets

took no holiday

for the long weekend.

Police say at least

eight people were killed

and 20 others wounded

in shootings since Thursday.

That's an increase over

last year's holiday weekend

that saw five killed

and 14 wounded.

Lord.

Hey, Eddie.

What's up, man?

Calvin, I messed up

this time, man.

I'm telling you.

I did something wrong.

What?

There's a bunch of them Gangster

Disciples down there in the corner,

with their pants hanging

all around their ankles.

And I told them how they was a

bunch of conjugal visits gone bad.

And they're coming down here.

They're coming after me, Calvin.

-I need the strap!

-Strap?

I need the heat!

Where's the heater?

Ain't no heat

in here, man.

The gun!

The gat!

There ain't no gun

in this shop.

So we ain't got no gun?

They're about to come

in here with AKs

and 47s

and Desert Eagles,

and we got nothing

but witch hazel!

Eddie. Are you serious?

Because I don't see nobody.

Here they come!

-Where?

-Come on!

Come on, Calvin!

Come on!

Sh*t!

Man.

Sh*t, man.

What are we gonna do?

You know what, I talked

my way into this,

maybe I can talk

my way out of it.

Man, we can go out the back.

Let's just go out the back!

I can't run,

Calvin. I'm old.

-Let's go.

-I'm just gonna talk to them.

They're young boys,

and I'm gonna talk to them.

Listen, you're not

going out there!

Let me get something.

Just wait.

Calvin! Don't.

There we go.

Let's be reasonable.

Everybody just calm down.

Let me just talk to you.

-Everybody stay cool-headed.

-Sh*t.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Just give me one of...

Leave that man alone!

Black lives matter!

He's old and decrepit!

Pedro, Feliz Navidad.

Eddie.

You want some?

-Man.

-I got you.

I'm tired

of this, Eddie.

That sandwich

was hand-crafted.

And you

should have heard!

"Black lives matter!"

"Eddie, don't go out there,

they're gonna kill ya!"

He was quivering like

Terrence Howard at the Oscars.

See, Eddie,

that's your problem.

You play too

damn much, man.

One day, somebody gonna be

chasing your ass for real.

You know what I"a do?

I"a let them catch you.

Okay, okay.

You know the

rules, baby boy.

If you like it, you pay.

If you don't like it,

your ass pay anyway.

Nice. Nice.

Well, Isaac,

it's good running

into you again.

Man, she know she ain't never

ran a day in her life.

You gonna call me, right?

You crazy.

All right...

Yes!

All right, Soror. Girl,

I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

You know

you my girl and...

All right, baby girl.

See you around.

Damn!

What happened to the

barbershop, Calvin?

I used to come here

to get away from women.

Especially the ones

I'll never ever

wanna see again

as long as I live.

You know you love the ladies,

especially the sistas.

Yeah, it's true,

I like the sisters. I do.

Just not that one.

But homegirl in a catsuit,

though, she could get it.

What's good, ma?

Not you, pa.

What them

pockets do, little daddy?

You can come over here

and frisk me if you like.

Now, I'm gonna keep it

real here for a second.

This was a male sanctuary.

This is the original man cave.

And now, it's just a club,

with the lights on,

and no drinks.

Yo, Isaac. It is

what it is, man.

The recession ain't never

left the South Side.

Joining forces

saved us both.

Well, change is good.

Everyone be well.

Good seeing y'all.

-I'll see you around again soon.

-Later.

Bye.

Peace. Good luck

with everything.

Send me some pictures.

Guychat. Guybarber.

Snapchat.

Hit me up anytime you want.

I"a see you later.

He swear he cute.

Aight, don't get

nothing on you now.

Look at him.

He gonna chase her.

Watch him. Watch him go.

Hey, Aisha!

I told you!

Y'all see that one?

He like them

big like that.

Eddie, not cool.

Go on back to your seat,

Poetic Injustice.

-What up?

-What up, pimpin'?

What up, G-ball?

What's

hangin', Rashad?

What up, J, Bree, Angie?

-Hey, Rashad.

-Morning, Rashad.

Hey, yo, boy.

Cal, what up?

-What's up with you, man?

-You good?

-Good, I'm good.

-Aight.

Seriously.

Your girl does

need to be careful

wearing all of that red

and gold down 79th.

Yeah, man. The Vice

Lords don't play that.

You can't just

wear their colors

and walk down

the street unchecked.

Man, the streets

is crazy right now.

I damn near got robbed

the other day.

I did get robbed

the other day.

What? Man, I got robbed twice

on the same day

on the same block.

That ain't sh*t.

Last week, I got robbed twice

and got my ass beat

by the second robber

for giving all my

money to the first.

She wasn't playing.

I've been living on

the south side since '52.

I've been robbed,

been shot, been stabbed.

Hell, been stoned,

been groped,

and almost lynched twice.

Nobody tried to lynch

your musty ass.

The only reason

I'm still here

is because the first time,

they didn't know

how to tie the knot.

So I just slipped right out.

And second time,

the tree was too short.

Hey, Calvin, I finished

reorganizing that supply closet.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes