Bald Page #3

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the other wrestlers.

[Laughter]

See, during their last practice,

he rubbed his manhood...

so hard up against the

other wrestler's back,

that it bruised him.

My only complaint, that

no one sent him to me.

You'd suck him sideways,

wouldn't you, f*ggot?

I can't believe you just thought that.

This is the 21st century.

Grow up and apologize.

I'm sorry, Devon.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry, why?

Why are you sorry?

Why don't you sit down, Dev?

I can't.

Jesse pounded me so hard last night,

it hurts when I sit.

Now, why do you let him do that?

It's not classy.

I know.

I mean, he's just such

a typical man that way,

trying to prove how strong

he is by banging me up.

It really hurts now.

So, Andrew, why were

you apologizing before?

I was thinking hateful,

terrible thoughts,

and I feel ashamed.

Oh, it was nothing.

I am sorry to hear

about your bum, though.

Oh, don't you worry about it.

It will heal.

[Laughs]

So.

[Gasps]

Hoo!

- You okay?

So what kind of girl do you want?

You want blonde,

brunette, Asian fantasy?

Ooh, ebony queen.

No, no, no, no, this girl knows me.

She said you told her my name.

Well, you're gonna have to give me

a little more info than that, sweetie.

She's got dark hair,

young face,

and classic teardrop titties.

How big?

Weak C.

C?

No, flip back to the B section.

C sounds too big.

Do no such thing.

I got a good look at 'em, saw the cup.

A weak C.

How could you know that?

You only saw her for a second.

Is this the girl?

- Yes.

- Weak C.

Told you.

Wow.

How many girls you got in this book?

It's incredible.

- 1,200.

Amazing.

Thank you.

Okay, her name is Caroline Goldman.

Okay, she's had four boyfriends,

two serious and two flings,

and I think she wants

to make you number three.

Whoa, for a fling

or to be her boyfriend?

Don't know, beats the sh*t out of me.

How do you know this?

Well, we were talking

about you and Max.

I just only didn't say

anything because, you know,

figured she wasn't your type.

So do you want her phone

number or IM contacto?

Why was she asking about Max?

Honey, we were watching

one of his blooper videos,

and she asked.

Well, how do you know

she likes me and not him?

Because, baby cakes, she

said your pic looked cute.

Who's a pretty?

Well, then, yeah, yeah,

give me her contact info.

Okay.

You know, I love watching you work.

What?

What's wrong with me

having this baby on my list?

Nothing's wrong with it,

but I don't want you yelling at her

when you think she's

staring at your bald spot.

That only happened twice,

and both times the b*tches

were staring right at my crown.

Easy, ladies.

Loud noises upset me.

- Sorry, Devon.

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