Bad Ass 3: Bad Asses on the Bayou Page #3

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Mama, Daddy, I want you

to meet Frank and Bernie.

- Oh. Well, welcome, gentlemen.

- Oh.

Thank you. Pleasure to meet you.

- And thank you for bringing us out here.

- Yeah, very generous of you.

- Ah, it's our pleasure.

- MAMA:
Ooh, Carmen.

You didn't tell me

how handsome they were.

DADDY:
Hey, girl, take it easy.

- Hey, guys.

- Oh, my goodness!

Baby, what happened?

Oh, it was just Kyle and his buddies.

Earl, do you see this?

Baby, just a little

innocent roughhousing.

Boys'll be boys. He'll be just fine.

Son, let me introduce you to your sister's

friends from California, Bernie and Frank.

- What's up, guys?

- Sister?

CARMEN:
Yeah. He's my brother

from another mother.

Mama had that in vitro thing. We think

the egg and the sperm got a little mixed up.

Felt all the same to me.

Either way,

we love us some little Ronny.

Well, gentlemen, welcome.

Now let me show you to your room.

My, oh, my, Earl. (CHUCKLES)

This house must have

cost you a pretty penny.

- (CHUCKLES) Didn't cost me a dime.

- Say what?

It's a family estate passed down

from generation to generation.

It was given

to my great-great-granddaddy...

post-Civil War...

as part of the agrarian reform

for black farmers.

Little did anybody know that this house was

sitting on mineral reserves, including oil...

which turned our family into

millionaires overnight.

Damn. Karma's a b*tch, Robert E. Lee.

- (ALL LAUGH)

- Ain't it the truth?

Hope you guys don't mind

sleepin' in the same room.

We got a lot of guests stayin' over,

so the house is kinda full.

Hey, I didn't know

you were in the military.

Oh, yeah.

Spent some time in Nam

many, many years ago.

I don't even know

who that guy is anymore.

There we go.

Everything ought to be here, but, if there's

anything else at all that you need...

please don't hesitate to ask.

What time you sending up the ladies?

(LAUGHING)

- After midnight.

- Why so late?

(LAUGHING)

Uh, fellas,

I just wanna say thank you...

for watchin' over my little girl

while she was in LA.

- It means a lot.

- Carmen's a special girl.

- Yeah. Mm-hmm.

- (CELL PHONE BUZZING)

Oh, now. Oh, rehearsal dinner's

in less than an hour.

You guys got to get dressed.

I took the liberty of hangin' up a couple

suits for you in the armoire.

I think we got your right sizes.

- One minute.

- (HIP-HOP)

MAN:
(RAPPING) I just do what I do

See me

I just do what I do

I just do what I do, do you know about me?

I just do what I do

- Let's do this.

- (LAUGHS)

Yeah, I just do what I do

See me

I just do what I do

Yo, check

Let me flip this script

I feel privileged

by all who can witness this

Damn. They invited

the entire state of Louisiana.

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