Bachelors Page #3

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wasn't trying to hear it.

And now his dumb ass

is getting married.

Tomorrow.

You motherf***er.

Gross, gross.

I've been trying to talk Sean

out of this marriage madness

since he first proposed.

I've tried everything.

You gonna come up for oxygen

anytime soon?

No? Okay.

Tonight is my last chance

to save my best friend

- from eternal damnation.

- Bye, honey!

- We miss you!

- Bye, babe!

Desperate circumstances

call for desperate measures.

I can't f***in' stand her.

She's driving me crazy over

not having enough goddamn chairs

for the reception.

Goddamn f***in' chairs!

It looks like you have a lot

to look forward to

getting married there, buddy!

So is loverboy ready

for tonight, huh? Huh?

Without a f***in' doubt.

Yeah, bullshit.

Oh, you'll see.

Tonight old Sean is back.

I just hope

you're steppin' up your game.

Oh, don't worry about me,

Kemosabe.

You just let me do what I do.

So where are we headin'?

Floyd's.

Floyd's.

Get the f*** outta here.

You get the f*** outta here.

We met Floyd in college.

Floyd has always been

just like he is now:

straight-laced,

God-fearing, organized,

responsible, nervous

and uptight.

But if you really wanna

understand Floyd,

we have to first talk

about his wife Joy.

Floyd met Joy

right out of college.

If you ask me, she basically

strong-armed Floyd to marry her

'cause she knew Floyd

would be a good partner.

She and Floyd made a lot

of dough doing real estate,

even though Floyd

does all the work

and Joy takes all the credit.

Joy really cracks

the whip on Floyd, too.

We've seen her

grab him by the collar

and shake him like

she was his mama.

The company is in her name,

the house, the cars,

the bank account.

She even...

I shouldn't laugh

because it's pretty bad.

She even gives Floyd

an allowance.

Poor Floyd.

Luckily, Joy's out of town

for the weekend.

Took me forever

to convince Floyd

to let me host the bachelor

party at his place.

It had to be somewhere special.

- Floyd!

- Hey, Floyd!

I promised Floyd

it would just be Sean

and his six groomsmen.

I mean, come on.

How out of control

could that possibly get?

Yeah!

Floyd!

I'm shutting it down, Aaron.

We are already off

to a very bad start.

A very, very, very, very,

very bad start.

Okay, Floyd, take a deep breath

and calm the f*** down.

We agreed! No drugs!

What are you talking about?

Your convict cousin is...

He's brought drugs

into my house,

and he's preparing

to do them as we speak!

Oh, sh*t, Jesse's already here?

- I'm sure it's just weed.

- Just weed?

Yeah, in fact, maybe you

should smoke some. It'll...

Stay cool.

I'll take care of it.

No, I can't stay cool!

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